So I was approached by my friend, trying her best to cloak her sadness with her ever sweet smile.
“So? How are you?” I asked. She replied, “I’m ok.”
Well, I know this is a big fat lie- because her eyes say otherwise.
This is not the first time we spoke about our families, our kids to be exact. She has two kids but then, she and her husband are living away from them. Typical Filipino scenario when parents have to leave their kids to go overseas in hopes of being able to provide what is “best” for them.
B E S T.
Is that what the kids are getting? How can the children get the “best” when they do not get hugged and kissed by their parents every day? Does skyping with them every day count as best? Your kids get left under neighbor’s watch while your family (to whom you left them for care) goes to work or do some chores. Is that best? Should parents feel less guilty if despite of physical absence they can shower them with material things?
Branded clothes, latest phones and gadgets, good school, money… you name it.
Are these worth the pain when the kids slowly drift away and one day would stop talking to you on the phone or through skype or facetime, whatever it is? Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. Absence can also make one forget.
Personally, as a mother, I can say that there is nothing more painful than not being recognized by your child when you meet him at the airport when you come back home. When finally you are able to embrace your child, but he does not hug you back. You can finally talk face to face, but you get ignored. I know because it happened to me.
Heart breaking.
Shattered my heart to pieces that I vowed that I will do everything so that we won’t get separated again.
As for my friend, she asked: Is it worth it? To stay in this country for better income, but not be able to tend to your own children’s needs? Personally, I would say NO. Being that smart, talented lady that she is, I know that she can find other means to support her children back home.
How about you, what can you say?