Most guys I talked to will basically admit that they didn't have a clue what they were doing in high school and even college when it came to talking to girls. We just had no idea how to act around them at all. When I was a freshmen in high school I was such a chode that I used to follow this girl around like a lost puppy dog. I would call her every night.
We were "just friends." I was such a McChodester to friend zone myself at such an early age!
Then I sort of didn't talk to her when I was a sophomore and then became "friends" again with her when I was a junior. There is nothing wrong with being friends but let's be honest. I wanted to be more than friends and this situation is very common. Guys will want more and hang around and try to be a guy friend when in reality they want more. They are often too scared to actually come out and say it. I did always tell that girl I liked her and we were officially "boyfriend / girlfriend" for a month. During that time she got super annoyed with me and broke up with me.
This situation reached a ridiculous level when we reconnected online during college. We didn't go to the same University but the talks got pretty hot and heavy and I thought finally something was going to happen with us.
Was I finally going to get with this girl I had been infatuated with for five years are so? NOPE! It still didn't end up happening. Pathetic!
Don't Look Desperate
I looked so desperate it was unattractive. If I would have just went around talking to all the girls I would have then became more attractive in the other girls eyes. There is a sense of competition and partial jealousy that will occur and you don't have to say it but basically they need to step up and show stronger interest if she is still going to be in the running.
Even today this naturally happens when I go out with girls. It happens about 1/4th the time where girls from Tinder, Bumble, or Coffee Meets Bagel will ask me to come out and meet them with their friends. This makes them more comfortable and I actually like this scenario the best because I can entertain the entire group and if things go south I'm already at the bars where there are tons of other chicks. I will start talking to the girls as a group or start talking about some random thing with one of the friends. I don't totally ignore the girl that ask me to come out but subconsciously I pit the girls against each other and they are all bidding for my attention. Some people would call this a savage move but this past weekend this happened and the girl that asked me to come out went home early. I hung with the other two girls and ended up getting both of their numbers. They put me in a "Group Text" thing. I sent a couple generic texts to the "Group". Then I split off and started texting one of the girls and telling her how she was really attractive. I wasn't lying. She is REALLY attractive.
The next day the original girl and the new girl were texting me like mad all day. Should you feel bad if you do this? NO! I met both them on the same night and I don't have any obligation to be locked down to just talking to one girl. Some Leave It To Beaver fans might be upset with this attitude but most girls aren't going to work out when it boils down to it.
You aren't a player you are a actuarial scientist. Work the numbers!
Take Hints
I found out long after the fact that there were several girls who liked me but chodes like me weren't able to take a hint. It was really sad actually. I think that most chodes have undiagnosed Asperger syndrome. It might be a moderate case but it is enough to basically look back at your former self and realize you were an idiot.
Just be the cool guy who talks to everyone. It was ridiculous that I didn't just ask every hot girl out in my high school. Everyone is worried about what everyone else will think. Also they fear rejection. There is always a feeling that they are too popular for you or something. That is just dumb when it boils down to it and often times the girls don't have as much confidence about themselves as you think. A lot of times the hottest girls are dealing with a lot of self esteem issues. They might think they are fat or they aren't as pretty as some other girl. The guys are dealing with the same stuff but if you can become more confident than they are then you will have a higher probability of success.
Give Very Strong Hints
I have told girls straight up that I'm not looking to get friend zoned. This will make them laugh and if they are interested they will let you know. Tell them that they are hot. Tell them that they are very attractive.
This goes against what some guys will tell you but in my experience this really boost their confidence and if they think you are hot they will let you know. At that point there is no wondering if you are into each other...etc.
Don't Play Too Nice
There is a very fine line between being too aggressive and being too nice. This takes time to figure this out and you have to really pick up on the vibe of the situation. You will mess up sometimes. It is just going to happen. Don't worry too much about it.
For instance I stay very PG maybe slightly PG-13 when talking to girls thought text or anything like that. The goal is clearly to meet them in real life. If you get too aggressive it probably won't even get that far. Then you have to feel out the situation. If you guys end up in a hot tub, if their is wine involved, or you are watching movies alone together.........
COME ON MAN! You better make a move or you are for sure a chode!
This seriously used to be me. One time in college a girl from one of my classes invited me back to her place to watch movies. She had her arm locked with mine and was cuddling. We watched the movie and then instead of progressing the situation I ended up talking to her about Mars. I kid you not! I geeked out and started talking about freaking MARS!
Don't get me wrong I still geek out a little bit but when you are in that situation that isn't the time nor the place. Ten minutes into the movie you start making out. Class dismissed!
On another occasion I was a sophomore in college and ended up going on a "date" with a "friend" from high school. She clearly wanted me. We were back at her house down in the basement playing video games and bull shitting around. It was very clear that I should have started making out with her. But once again I choded myself out and nothing ever happened. How stupid of me.
What Changed?
Most of us can learn from our mistakes and that was a big part of it but I am also able to position myself to have a very good chance against my competition. Think about it. If I was a chode in college then a lot of other guys are too. So let's say if I'm talking to a girl who is 22 or 23 the guys she is around are likely making all kinds of rookie mistakes.
Let's say I'm talking to a chick who is 35. Well more than likely I would be in better shape than 99% of the guys she would be around on a daily basis. It is just a fact of our society and most people's sedentary lives that by focusing on your health you will be rising above the masses.
Don't Be Afraid To Pull A Wingman
I know this last tip seems controversial but it has served me well several times. I will get talking to other guys at the bar sometimes when I'm getting drinks or whatever and sometimes you just know that they aren't a slouch with the women. You know the girls are always going out with friends. Girls will rarely go out alone. Pulling a wingman can allow yourself to not get cock blocked by a girls friends you are trying to talk to.
What works best is coming up with a short back story of how you guys are friends and have known each other for awhile. LOL
I did this recently and it worked really well. We said that we had mutual friends and met like 3 months ago and just ran into each other again. Hahahhahah In reality we met 8 minutes before that.
Conclusion
Most people are going to be natural born chodes. There are very few guys who are advanced at talking and hanging out with women from an early age. I have seen a few of these guys and it often seemed to be a product of the way their parents acted and the things they let them get away with. Also if they had an older brother who sort of coached them that helped.
For the rest of us we could easily spend a decade floundering around being deprived of what we want. If your read this entire post write Chodemaster McGee in the comments below.
(A note about the pictures. This was me and an ex-girlfriend at a Kings of Leon concert in Phoenix. I had seen a picture on Break.com where a guy was acting as a bench for a girl on a subway in Japan. It was really hilarious and we were talking about it so we had someone else take a picture of that scenario. I wasn't that big of a tool at that given time. LOL. Below is a regular picture of us at the concert.)
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