Have you ever drifted off to somewhere back in time or to a thought regarding the future? Has your mind kept bringing you back to the same thought or event, replaying over and over again like on old record stuck on a portion of a song? Or does it move around like a flight of ideas that flash in your mind like a fireworks show? When you try to refocus on what’s at hand, does your mind pull you back to that same old event that happened so long ago? Do you dwell on this and relive the uncomfortable event like it was today? Does it cause anxiety or sadness?
we end up reeling and staggering through life.
Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.”
– Pam W. Vredevelt
Even when you try your hardest, sometimes it is hard to let go of these traumatic or unpleasant events. You try to stay present but even when you watch T.V., read a book, work on a project, or cook, without intending to do so, your mind brings you right back to where you didn’t want to be. Trying to let go of the past or stop worrying about the future is very hard, but in order to be able to be present in the now, you have to make the effort.
People ask, so how can I forget the past? Well first and foremost, you need to express your feelings about the past event that bothers you. If you don’t, that past event will continue to build up in your mind, causing more and more focus on it. It’s like a wound that you ignore until it festers into greater pain. Then all your attention is on that one thing and that is not living. Talk to a friend, family member or a counselor. Just let it out so you can move on.
There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday.
It is not yours to judge.
Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?”
– Leo Buscaglia
Another method is writing down what you feel about the event/past. Write a letter to the person who caused your pain but don’t send it. Just write it to release all that pent up anger, hurt, stress that you felt. Some people burn the letter symbolically to release the memory. Some people write in a journal which also helps to release the inner feelings that affect them. I can attest to the fact that writing does help tremendously. That is why I am writing posts in Steemit. It has given me a wonderful, therapeutic outlet so that I can eventually reach a better level of peace.
to forgive.
Forgive everybody."
—Maya Angelou
In order to be able to move on and stop the blaming that occurs when hurt, you have to learn to forgive. It is not saying that the person was right in doing what he/she did, it is just allowing yourself to say, you don’t impact me anymore. I forgive you so I can move on and enjoy life. You don’t matter but I do. You do it for yourself, not for them. Release the pain and just start focusing on the now so you can be happy and fully complete. You deserve it!
Another method people use to release the past is to turn your focus on what makes you happy in your current life. Start appreciating what you have, whether it be family, a loving friend, your health, the great outdoors, being able to breath, being able to experience new adventures. By switching to the now and the positive, your brain will eventually lessen its focus on what brings you down. It is really worth your effort to be happy and enjoying life.
is to learn to let go.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
There have been studies that have shown, that by envisioning yourself pushing the worry that has blocked you from enjoying life behind a door and locking it, can help you to move past it. But sometimes you have to keep making that conscious effort until that blockage no longer stands in your way to living and moving forward.
—Confucius
Worry about the future can also be as damaging as being stuck on past memories. Often times we worry about retirement, health concerns, having enough money, getting married, getting old, job security, wrinkles, being a good parent, etc., etc., etc. In fact we worry about worrying too much and that is a worry! Our capacity to worry so much makes it virtually impossible to even focus on the now. So stop worrying and start living.
We all have to learn that worrying is a very negative characteristic to have. I know how hard it is to not worry but we need to understand some very important truths…..We can’t predict what will happen in the future. We don’t really know what will happen, no one does. Some things we worry about probably won’t even occur. So why put so much anxiety and energy into this?
– Leo F. Buscaglia
Another truth is we can’t control the future. There are so many factors that can change an outcome like a chance or random occurrence, and then there is luck too. So why fret about something that is out of our hands? It really is a waste of your energy and time. And the cost can be detrimental.
A third truth is that fretting about the future takes away focus on the now. You are probably missing out on some of the best times of your life and won’t even know it because you are not focused on it. That is such a waste of a good life experience which should be experienced fully. Why go to a movie if you spend your attention on something else. Why go to a sports event if all you can think about is the past. It doesn’t make sense, does it?
it gives you something to do
but never gets you anywhere”
– Erma Bombeck
Finally, a fourth truth is that sometimes we fret so much, that we focus on the worst case scenario. Usually these situations are not as bad as we make it out to be and although bad, we can usually dig deep and survive it all. I’ve been through some pretty extreme hardships but in retrospect I survived it and have become stronger. In fact, with my new mantra, “we always learn something new from bad situations and become better for it”, has really helped to put things into a greater perspective for me. Life can be hard and difficult, but we always learn to be deeper and better because it is. We become real!
So we all have to really try hard to put the past into the past and the future into the future. We really have to accept the fact that the only things we can really do something about is in the NOW. Enjoy living a fully experienced life, enjoy tasting the great food, enjoy feeling the cool breezes on your face and the warmth of the sun, enjoy hearing the sounds of the ocean waves or the running water in a nearby river, enjoy the smells of the flowers around you or the hardiness of fresh earth, see what is in front of you and behind you, see the smiling faces of happy people. Do everything in order to fully live, to fully cherish, to fully embrace, all the things you have been fortunate to have. Don’t miss a minute of being fully alive!
I appreciate your visit and look forward to working with you on Steemit. May your week ahead be stress free and happy!
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