When faced with a situation you’re unhappy with, maybe it’s quite obvious, but I’ll go ahead and say it: You have three choices.
- You can change the situation
- You can accept the situation
- You can walk away from the situation
It really is as simple as that no matter how much the voices in our heads try to tell us otherwise.
Why do we insist upon complicating our lives? Why do we insist upon dwelling on the so-called unfairness of our unhappy situations when we should instead be devising an exit plan or a compromise?
It’s perfectly okay to accept certain situations as long as we truly do accept it and we’re not outwardly accepting it for the sake of other people or to avoid conflict. I used to be the queen of avoiding conflict, and what I found to be true is that my conflict avoidance backfired on me more times than I can count; it actually attracted more conflict into my life. I no longer do anything just to shut up someone.
Why do certain situations keep recurring?
This happens to the best of us. When a situation keeps repeating itself, I’ve found that it can only mean one thing: It hasn’t been properly addressed in the past. Only you can be the judge of what properly addressed means. I suggest digging into your recent and more distant past to see if you can make connections. Usually you are the cause of it not being properly dealt with and you should prioritize honest self-analysis (notice I didn’t say beating up yourself) before automatically blaming others about your troubles. Is there someone with whom you need to have a conversation? Initiate it today.
This process is more important than you can imagine because finally resolving recurring issues is one of the most liberating feelings a person can experience. When you are no longer carrying around the weight of your excuses and misconceptions, you immediately feel more energetic and purposeful in a mental as well as physical sense.
Why do we stop living a life of passion and enthusiasm?
We stop because it’s the “logical” thing to do. I don’t know about you, but as I age, unless I actively catch myself, I find that I’m more judgmental, more cynical, and less spontaneous than in my youth. I’ve become a complacent grouch. This chronic complacency has guided me into more situations where I feel unhappy, yet feel unable to pull myself out of it.
On the surface, I can see why this has happened; life does a number on all of us and the everyday grind can be an energy draining vampire. If I allow myself to think about this more deeply, though, I don’t understand how I let this happen to myself; most things that happen on an everyday basis are not that bad. There are more reasons to smile than not.
Suddenly, if becomes illogical to continue being a complacent grouch. Suddenly, it becomes my daily goal to have more fun. Suddenly, I choose to judge myself and others less – and love everyone more. After all, everything is a choice. And suddenly, I have the tools necessary to properly deal with unhappy situations the first time around -- before they pull me back into my old, vicious cycle.