We all yearn for the day when we can finally be happy, and our problems no longer trouble us. We imagine that when this day comes, we'll no longer slip back into anger, sadness, or disappointment. The house, the partner, the job, the kids, the amount of free time we have... It's all as it should be. Finally, we can just be happy. We'll go from a state of dissatisfaction, to being happy with our lives, as if a switch has been turned on. Yet, this day will never come. The circumstances that must arise for "The Forever-Happy-Switch" to be flicked will never be present. That switch will never be turned on, because it doesn't exist.
Happiness is a high. To expect to always be happy is to expect to be blissfully stoned for the rest of your life. Happiness is a data point far above your emotional baseline. It is unreasonable to expect that one day you will finally be perpetually happy, no more than you should expect to feel rage or sorrow for the rest of your life. You are not a robot that can have happy chemicals poured into it once "The Forever-Happy-Switch" is flicked. You're a human being that will always be a complex mosaic of emotions.
Perhaps, a more noble and realistic goal is to strive for unshakable contentment. While contentment can include happiness from time-to-time, contentment is closer to a state of satisfaction. Contentment involves being okay with things as they are, and accepting the present moment for what it is. We can be connected with contentment, even while we experience anger, sadness, and disappointment. We can tell ourselves "It's okay to be angry". "It's okay to feel sad sometimes." "I can accept this disappointment." Contentment allows us to tell ourselves that things are acceptable as they are, and outside circumstances needn't change for us to feel settled in our lives. When contentment becomes the objective, suddenly our bouts of negativity become blips on our emotional radar, rather than signs that our project of building everlasting happiness is on the brink of failure.
Wanting to be happy forever is a foolish dream, and all human beings will fail at, no matter how determined we are to find the mythical set of circumstances that will flick our Forever-Happy-Switches. Contentment is a state of being that is always available to us, so long as we are willing to accept reality as it is. Contentment allows us to be okay, with things not being okay.
Choose contentment today, rather than waiting for happiness to find you tomorrow.
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