Are You Addicted to Finding the Next Great Experience, Event or Project?

When I was "young and hopeful," one of my father's friends gave me the piece of advice that "life is an adventure to be experienced, not a battle to be won."

Of course, we all get loads of different kinds of advice... but a few pieces stick with us, in the long run. A large part of my adventure became about trying to understand myself and the deeper meaning of life.

As a result, I spent many years in pursuit of self-development, trying to "better myself" and attending many retreats and workshops revolving around the central idea of "making my best self." Or-- as some might call it-- seeking enlightenment.

The Darker Side of Seeking Wisdom

Sunset
Are you looking for the next better sunset?

After a few years of seeking and studying, I started to notice some common patterns. 

For one, it seemed like all these supposedly "wise" people were all pretty much using different words to say the same thing... and I was getting very little wiser in the process... but my bank account would definitely get lighter, on a regular basis.

But I also noticed that a lot of the same people were showing up, time after time. They would talk about where they had been and what they had learned... but quickly would shift their attention to "the next great thing" they were going to attend. Another workshop; another retreat; another guru; another answer...

Maybe that sounds natural... and granted it's generally a good thing to seek wisdom and enlightenment, but if you're constantly chasing from thing to thing in an eternal quest for the next great "X," it may be time to just stop and sit down. Especially if you've been "on the path" for 20 years... and are still looking. Which a number of these people I'd meet seemed to be... a bit like the stereotype of "the eternal college student" with 14 degrees, but who has never actually had a job.

What I Learned From Seeking Enlightenment

YellowFlowers
Yellow flowers in our garden

As I started to watch people and experience life, it became clearer and clearer that there is no magical "it" that's going to happen when the next "wise man" speaks or persuades you that their "method" is your answer. There's no "everything" that's suddenly going to change.

The thing is, there is no "it," there is only you. And there is no place you can go to find "it," because wherever you do go-- you bring yourself with you. And that means that no matter what some guru might tell you, your bad habits and wounds that are causing you problems and pain... will still be there. 

Keep in mind that this has nothing to do with ambition, this is all about your state of mind; how you approach life.

Our Addiction to Finding THE Answer

What I observed along the way is that there are lots and lots of people who actually use their supposed quest to find the magical "it" that will make their lives perfect as a rationalization for wearing what I can only describe as "cognitive blinders" as a ways to avoid dealing with real life, as it exists in front of them.

PurpleClover
Purple clover

In some strange way, they become addicted to "seeking," and actually end up jonesing for the next great gig that might give them the answer.

So what's really going on here?

When we are addicted to finding "the answer," we are in a place of constantly seeking. When we are seeking, it's an artificially created situation... and we're also admitting that we don't yet have what we're seeking. Consider it this way... if you are looking for your keys, it also means-- by your own admission-- that you don't have your keys!

On the other hand, if you back off and simply allow things to happen... be OPEN... while also being present in your world, doing the laundry, going to work and feeding your cat. So stop looking, and start living.

Keep in mind that this pattern can be applied to many things other than "seeking enlightenment." Ever met someone who's always looking for "the next great job" that's going to make their life perfect? And they have had thirteen jobs in the last four years? Or maybe someone has spent 20 years pursuing the "cure" to some pervasive health issue.

How about YOU? Have you ever felt "caught" in a pattern of seeking answers... that actually kept you from implementing these answers? Have you being part of the "job of the month club," as a way to avoid dealing with other issues in your life? Have you met anyone who seems to be eternally "seeking" but is never "finding?" Have you ever spent more time "looking for a solution" than actually dealing with something? Leave a comment-- share your experiences and feedback-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170824 17:58 PDT

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