I celebrate ALL pairings of love, but this particular technique does call for a penis and a vagina.
Tantra. Kama Sutra. Ayurveda. India’s ancient texts and traditions give us access to sexual wholeness and power. But India isn’t the only continent with prowess in the sensual arts. Mother Africa has deep insight into our physicality, too. In some circles, the men of Uganda and Rwanda are talked about in near-legendary terms because of a very special thing they do -- with their hand and penis -- that, orgasmically, sends the most grounded woman high into orbit.
I will, to the best of my ability, describe the beautiful way of “Kachabali” as it is called in Uganda, and “Kunyaza” in Rwanda. Let's start with a poetic foretaste...
King of Kachabali. King of Kunyaza.
He reads her labia
as the sacred script that it is.
He is a p*ssy devotee,
and he has been endowed
with The Power Of The Hand.
And also, The Power Of The Wait.
He has the power to wait for her, without hurry
or expectation. He is genitally generous.
Circling and churning her honey-pot.
His wrist rotates… spins, like a whirling dervish.
Cockwise. Counter-cockwise.
He wants only to reunite the glans of his erect penis
with the glans of her erect clitoris.
He will let supple, sensitized skin do its thing.
He will not frantically plow into her…
like a big, dopey porn-ox.
This wise womb-worshipper knows
that most of the best-feeling places
in her vagina-temple are actually near its doors.
The lipsss.
So that is where he puts all his focus and energy,
simply sliding slickness all around there…
rhythmically tapping and gliding between her slippery folds
with his warm, silky head… penetrating ever-so-briefly,
and not even all the way…
This teasing, pulsing prayer makes her vulva,
with its 8,000 clitoral nerve endings, reach toward him
like a hungry mouth, wide open to this attentive King
who brings her from dry to drenched.
From thirsty to quenched.
Y'know misogyny? This is the opposite.
If ever something could transform
patriarchy into ecstasy, this is it.
Such giving Kings, your Queens adore you.
Kachabali or Kunyaza is a special kind of vaginal massage.
This African sex technique uses the penis head, rather than fingers, to massage the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening with circular, up-and-down and side-to-side motions. The vagina is also tapped or slapped rapidly, while he holds his shaft like a flashlight, between his thumb and fingers. I'd like to embed a couple sketch drawings I found online, but don't want to risk downvotes for possibly being too graphic, so I'll just link to them here and here.
When touched this way, many women experience multiple, squirting orgasms. Even the 80% of women who have difficulty with vaginal orgasms, find that the clitoral stimulation Kachabali/Kunyaza provides wakes up all the pleasure centers between her legs:
“Almost all genital erogenous zones of the woman are stimulated, many of them even being stimulated simultaneously.” (Bizimana N.)
Fingers are nimble, but they are also small. And some men’s fingers are a little tough and scratchy! But the beautifully contoured tip of the penis’ head is the perfect shape and size. And its ultra-smooth skin, which facilitates moistness, is the ideal texture to feel down there.
Is It A Primal Memory?
When they are rubbed and tapped together, in the form of Kachabali/Kunyaza, there is a special kindling between the penis and the clitoris.
Could it be because they started out as the same material? It took more than 3 months before the penis and clitoris ultimately distinguished into different organs.
Let’s Skip Performance Traps
Female ejaculation is very common with Kachabali/Kunyaza, and that comes as no surprise. Of course sustained pleasure, that really honors a woman’s anatomy, will create an explosive outpouring. Floods, reportedly.
In fact, “kunyaza” translates “to make urinate” (even though female ejaculate is not urine). And there is an affectionate nickname squirting women are known by: “Put a bucket under her.” In researching for this post, all the information I came across made a very big deal out of the waterworks.
But Kachabali/Kunyaza is a beautiful practice, even if a woman doesn’t squirt an ocean. So rather than create more performance anxiety for the man (“Will I make her squirt?”) or the woman (“Will I squirt?”), try this pressure-free way, instead:
Face each other.
Man, worship her. With the power of your hand, and the power of your wait. If you can’t visualize exactly how it’s done, and you want a little video tutorial, Google will not let you down ;-)
Woman, receive his worship. Be healed by it. And heal him, in turn, with your wide open surrender.
This technique creates a strong sense of intimacy and closeness. Men have also reported increased length and girth in their erection, because they so get off on seeing their partner’s gratified, responsive vagina.
Enjoy!
Primary Source : Bizimana N., "Another way for lovemaking in Africa: Kunyaza, a traditional sexual technique for triggering female orgasm at heterosexual encounters." Sexologies (2010), doi:10.1016/j.sexol.2009.12.003
Follow me at @erikaharris. Now living in Acapulco, via Chicago, I write about the cultivated inner life + liberated outer life. I also advocate the (re)joining of plants + people, because green minds grok better.
