Mexico Honeymoon: 17 Years After The Fact

A Trip Adorned With Resplendent Gratitude

I've been married almost 18 years. The fact that my marriage has almost attained adulthood is of great amusement to me. The story of my connubial bliss is rife with drama, as an entire community was against the union. You see, my husband is 18 years older than I am. Now days this age gap doesn't seem to vex people too much (I think this might have something to do with the fact that I look early twenties in age rather than 12, but who knows). The funny thing about my story is that I had a full ride college scholarship waiting for me the fall after graduating high school, no boyfriend, and was ready to start my life with a minimum of a decade of schooling to fulfill my dream of being a virologist or epidemiologist. Then I met Tom. We never really paid much attention to each other, and wouldn't have gotten together had my parents not accused me of dating him. We thought that dating would be a good idea after we talked and laughed about the gossip that was spreading about us throughout our valley. I had no interest in being married at that point in my life, neither did he, but sometimes you just meet your person. A couple of months later we exchanged vows at the county courthouse, me clad in purple bell-bottoms and one of my friend's grandmother's polyester shirt (pre and post-high school, generikat had style).

The only congratulations that I got was a phone call that was really a one-sided tongue lashing about how I could annul my freshly minted marriage. People tried to run us off of the road. I was harassed constantly, always in some state of apparent pregnancy, and accused of being on drugs. Good times. One great lesson that I learned from that time is that if a person is very compliant with the demands of others all of the time, they should expect a violent reaction when they finally decide to do something that they want to do, especially if it is contrary to what the collective desires for their future.

That said, here I am happily married almost two decades later. Our elopement was anything but traditional. No reception, no gowns and tuxedos, no presents, no congratulations. I honestly wouldn't trade the experience as it taught me the true value of forgiveness, and that it's okay to follow through with your decisions, even if the world is against you. The excess trappings of a lot of weddings is not really my thing, but a honeymoon would have been nice, and we finally got one this last September.

My husband is a disabled veteran, and we are able to purchase vacations through a special military vacation site. They ended up giving us a free resort stay in Mexico, so off to Nuevo Vallarta we went. As we were always moving when I was a child; I have traveled a lot, but I had never went anywhere for the sole purpose of relaxing. It was rough, but I totally adapted to being catered too. Although, I will always cherish the looks that my behavior ellicited on our maid's face. I know that woman thought I was bananas because I kept the room so clean and also tipped her constantly. I loved that lady.

The resort where we stayed was definitely not an immersion experience culturally-wise, for you are completely isolated from the surrounding community. We were fine with that this trip, for a complete tropical sabbatical was what we were looking for. A pleasant surprise was that the resort was full of middle class Mexican families taking their vacations as well, and most of them embraced us as locals. Until we opened out mouths. I will always remember the group of elderly ladies that helped me practice my Spanish in the elevator. Everyone wanted me to help them practice their English when they discovered my lack of Spanish skills, I was happy to oblige. Plus, it gave me a goal for when I return, I plan to be able to speak some proper Idahoan-accented, conversational Spanish. I have no ego when it comes to looking like a complete idiot in the linguistic department; I just want to show the folks that I care enough to try!

One of my favorite things about where we stayed was the huge beach. I'm a bit of a rambler, so every morning I would slip out and walk a few miles. While out I would observe some of the greatest things. People raked the beach each morning. There were your fitness folks, jogging with their headphones firmly ensconced in their ears. My husband's spirit animal, the pelican, was always present coasting over the surf with that perpetual annoyed look on his beak. The resort's employees were busily readying themselves for the day with all manner of tasks, always pausing to say "Hola" when I walked by. I was secretly amused by this as they were so professional and sharp looking in their uniforms and I was always wearing baggy soccer shorts and some derelict tank top. I kind of wanted to wear a greasy burlap sack just to see if their reaction would be the same, and I imagine it would be, they were some of the most devoted employees I have ever witnessed.

Even though I took to relaxation like a pro, it was hard for me to be served by others. I always wanted to help out the staff in any way that I could. Tom was constantly laughing at me and my being-served awkwardness. It honestly blew my mind that I could pick up the phone and have lobster brought to my room. It kind of made me uncomfortable that I could go to a world class patisserie, select all manner of amazing nibbles, and just sign for it. I also probably ate far too much Nutella frozen yogurt.

My favorite thing about the whole trip was to just lie under a palapa in a chair next to my husband, reading a book, and sipping an iced tea with far too much lime juice in it. Fresh lime juice is the greatest thing ever! I put lime juice on everything, even my eggs.

There was also a really fun game of beach volleyball that I joined in, and I was the only person that didn't speak Spanish. The great equalizer was that I was the only person on the court that actually knew how to play volleyball, a fact that the resort employee leading the game eagerly latched upon. In between catching my breath due to dissolving into constant giggles from playing a game with a bunch of obvious soccer players, I actually had an amazing time. I am pretty sure that half the participants were miffed by the lack of foot to ball action.


I may not speak the language, but I know how to play the game! Sneaky picture taking husband obviously won this round.

The only negative in my opinion was the push when you arrive to sell you a timeshare. I just utilized my librarian skill set when it came to this inconvenience, for I am really good at saying no. The person trying to get us to attend a "short breakfast presentation" eventually got the idea, for I could care less if something is a really good deal. I mean, I like a bargain just as much as the next person, but I don't buy something unless it is a need. Timeshares do not fit in the need category of my budget.

Other than some mild harassment on that first day, we were treated like royalty. Every need that we had was met, and we were left completely alone to bask in that tropical paradise in peace. I'm sure that there were some clubs to go to, entertainment to experience, and things to look at that I missed. In all honesty though, I had exactly what I wanted: a magnificent setting, an outstanding room (hello patio pool!), wonderful food, and most of all, the person that I like best to share it all with.


Iguanas of all sizes inhabited the resort to our delight. One of my favorite moments of the trip was when a lady from Texas discovered the 3 footer that had been lounging under her chair for a good half an hour. That squeal of BOY HOWDY still brings a smile to my face


We affectionately referred to this piece of beach art as Tom's house.

The Grand Mayan Nuevo Vallarta

As always the photos used in this post were either taken on my husband's sand flecked or my lime juice covered iPhone.

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