How do you define success?
It seems an easy enough question, yet, when you're supposed to actually answer it, you find yourself at a loss for words.
Because what exactly is a successful man or a successful woman? How is he different from an unsuccessful individual? You're tempted to point a finger to the people you admire and say 'he's successful' – but is he, really? How so?
I mean, surely, he could have more. He could've done more with his life. If you look at him from your point of view (you being someone who likes him), you're likely to see him in a positive light, to see only the good things about him. You can, quite probably, start enumerating achievements – look, he's a CEO or has received recognition for his talent.
A musician, for example, who plays in a band, in a fancy restaurant downtown. Is he successful? Well yes, he's more successful than the man whom no one has heard playing and only practices in his room. Or the beggar strumming his guitar for a bit of food. In comparison to them, then yes, he's achieved success.
But what about the one who plays at the Sydney Opera House? Compared to him, our guy isn't really that successful. One can always scoff at him for not being as great.
Let's take it a step further – the violinist at the Sydney Opera House. Now, that's surely something, isn't it? His parents must be proud...But maybe the violinist has spent his entire life working and sacrificing for his music. Perhaps he doesn't have children and he's getting old. His chances are reducing. Or maybe, his people skills are quite bad, having spent so much time on his own. As a musician, he's a success. But what about as a human?
Not quite as admirable, huh?
The desire for success is something that gnaws at you constantly, when you're my age. And it's quite frightening, because you've still got this mountain in front of you that you must cross. And no one sets out to fail, we all intend to be successful.
For example, I'm a writer. And I want to remain a writer. I would like to make a living from the words that come out of my mind. I want, in other words, to be a successful writer. But what defines a successful writer?
Being acknowledged in the Steemit community? It's very nice, but I don't think so.
Writing for a local magazine? Nope, don't think it's that either.
Publishing a bestselling novel? Could be..
Winning a Hugo or a Pulitzer? That sounds successful, but who's to say it is?
I've seen plenty of crap books be awarded prestigious prizes, so what does that mean? That your books are not high quality, but for some reason, you still get the award. Okay, fine, say you set out to win a Pulitzer. That has been your lifetime goal. What happens once you do win it? And what if you won it, but your book is still crap? Can you be successful without being a good writer? Very probably.
But then, are you still truly successful? By what standards?
We tend to define success by academic performance, in children and young people. Later on in life, we define it in career terms – CEO, promotion etc.
But I've met plenty of kids who, despite having good grades and doing well in school, were unhappy and socially awkward. And I've met plenty of adults, who – working in the corporate world – made good money and had high positions in their firm, and were depressed with their lives.
Surely, when we think 'success', we don't think depression, sadness and lack of friends. That doesn't sound very successful...
So, the successful businessman has proven to be a failure.
What about the opposite – the man who, although poor and a 'nobody' in society, has a good relationship with his family? What about the kid who spends all day drinking beer with his friends? They're good friends, it's just that they ain't going nowhere.
These aren't successful people either.
They, too, are failures.
I used stereotypes, I know. But I believe the point still stands. Look at any one of your friends or acquaintances who you'd define as successful – then think again.
I was doing this with my own list of 'successful people' and I found flaws in all of them, areas of life where they were lacking success. Or that they were lacking success, by comparison to others.
To be fair, I could probably scoff at anyone.
It was a thought that was meant jokingly, but isn't it ultimately true? You could, if you wanted to, scoff at anyone.
It's not that they're unsuccessful. Just that they're not successful enough.
While writing this, I found myself thinking that a successful person is someone who does his very best. True, I suppose. But only when it comes to judging ourselves or those close to us.
When we judge a stranger's success, we tend to be less merciful. We don't care that they're doing their best.
And we should, I think, be judged by the same standards.
When it comes to ourselves, we tend to be lenient. We always go for the convenient little lie, that will protect our feelings, our egos....our images of ourselves.
We want the less harsh judgement, so we settle on “we're doing our best”. But we're still unsuccessful.
Or not. It's up to you. So, how do you define success?
