Tips to convince people easily
We've all been situation where we crave a simply. Maybe we work in sales and need to finish the deal. Maybe we try to convince someone to do us a favor or maybe we want to get a yes or someone just for the sake of it. But how do we go about it ? how do we reliably and consistently get people to agree with us? How do we get people to say yes ? You might deem the following points unethical because some of them work on unconscious level and force us into agreeing but don't forget other people especially salespeople use them every occasion so why not return the gesture?
The first curritial point are social obligations. It might sound wrong to use this simply to get "yes" out of someone. But as I mentioned before salespeople use it all the time so why shouldn't we? What I am talking about is reciprocity. Did you ever receive a little present from a sales company or political party or anything alike? Some people are receiving small gifts in their mail. This simple gesture plays on all reciprocity. we somehow know that those folks just try to their stuff. Nevertheless we still feel an obligation to return the favor buy a product or we simply feel more drawn to this company.
Reciprocity is an unconscious pattern and we feel guilty if we not return something. For example christmas cards, if we received one from an old acquaintance, then we feel obliged to send one too. This can go to the extent of sending christmas card to a complete stranger just because the day sent one first.
This obligation to return the favor works mainly on small presents and cards for example but it also extends to friendly gestures. Most of the time our return is bigger than our initial cost. Therefore we might do someone a favor in advance, a couple of days later we ask our question and chances are he or she will say "yes". We can push this even more by providing multiple gestures and then asking for one big favor.
Playing on fixed action patterns is the next point. Fixed action patterns include for example stereotypies, if we know someone falls specific stereotypies, then we can use this information and play cards according to those exact stereotypies. Another example for an fixed action pattern would be the association of value and price. The value of product is how much it is actually worth or how much it would be worth to you?
The price tag on the other hand can vary and it's not always a clear representation of the value. Image the exact same product placed in two different source with drastically different rises. In store one it might be 10 and in store two it might be 50, price is the only difference and yet most people will assign more value to the expensive product. We might assume that 50 is too expensive but we will also assume that it should be at a higher price point then just 10.
Social proof is also used in sales and advertising. A big route approves a product while celebrity frequently wears a specific clothing brand a common ways of advertising. We lower our barriers according to social proof, we've all shopped Aliexpress or Amazon and every now and then we have to decide between two products. More often than not the determining factors are the rewiews. More reviews and good reviews lower our hesitation to buy. In the end, we don't decide on the product specifics on the price. We rather pick the product with better reviews.
This social proof from complete strangers right there someone likes a product so we might like it too. But we stay away from products without reviews. We don't want to spend money on it, we don't want to be the first person to try it. Another example would be someone ringing on our door and explaining that all our neighbors already donated to his charity. As a conclusion we are very likely to also donate. Social proof is one of the most powerful tools that you can use. Convincing people to vouch might take some effort but it will pay off eventually.
The last point is consistency. We all want to be consistent in our behavior. No one wants to be called a schizophrenic, a snitch, a lair or anything alike. Especially we males feel bound by our statements. Most of the time we say it, we mean it and we stand behind it. We try to keep our self image, we try to keep our face, we try to act according to our values and this can be exploited.
We are knocking and go to the door, a friendly looking man stands in front of you and asked you how are you doing ? or you receive a call and someone asks you how are you doing? The common reply is " I am doing good, everything is great". Even if are not in a great spot, we explain that we are doing exceptional. Now the voluntary worker or the salesman strikes us with the following " oh I am glad you are doing well". Sadly not all people are doing as good as you are.
In Africa, people are living on the streets without food and shelter then he proceeds to ask you how much you could donate to help the poor. This is a tricky situation. We clearly stated how well we are doing and we don't want to perceived as a lying douche. We we try to be consistent with our statement. As a result the person is selling us something already has the food in the door. Escaping this situation is incredibly hard and most people would rather donate then lose their face in front of a stranger.
Using this principle and charity work might seem wicked but it works we can build entire conversation on this start with a seemingly simple question and move from there. The person the other side will desperately try to keep his face and turn he moves down a spirital untill he has no other option left but to agree this need to be consistent does not only apply to statements.
It also applies to all core values. If our phrases align with the values of another individual, it is very likely to get a yes out of them. Consistency is a character is found in all humans and consistency can be exploited.
Thank you so much for reading my post. Please stay tuned for more.
