The experience this morning is 'bracing', as in, to brace yourself, which is to prepare oneself mentally or emotionally for something unpleasant. A brace being something that holds something together to provide support. The two assumptions here are that 1) the day will be an unpleasant thing to face, and 2) I may fall apart, and need to 'hold myself together' to support myself to face the day.
I have spent a lot of my life bracing myself for the day. Especially with OCD/anxiety disorder, where everyday is in fact unpleasant, terrifying, difficult, etc... although I'm sure many people face self-created unpleasantness throughout the day no matter what the mental health status.
However, since studying the Desteni material and learning this unique perspective about the mind, I have been taking back my authorship. Meaning, I realize I truly am and have always been writing the script, but only recently did I realize I was doing it, and even more recently did I realize I could change it.
So every day I used to brace myself in the morning, knowing that the day was going to be unpleasant, anxiety filled, difficult, uncomfortable within myself, like facing the cannon fodder. To this day I still experience the internal discomfort of living in a body that suffers a disorder. I feel it every day, but I have recently seen that as a gift. A gift because I can't fool myself everyday that everything is ok, I am made quite aware of the mind's impact on the body, and so long as I keep myself present and aware, I can learn from it and manage it.
The thing here is that, in bracing myself, I am already projecting an unpleasant day ahead, which almost guarantees and unpleasant day ahead. If I had just woken up this morning and slid right into the routine, I would have gone right ahead and created my day with such underlying programming. But instead I took a moment this morning, and decided to take my authority back.
I will delete my projection of how the day will go, let it go completely, and decide instead to walk into a blank slate. I will hold on the the cool aspect of 'brace yourself', which is the self-support found within it. It is only the presumption of unpleasantness that is included in the expression 'to brace yourself' that will have an effect on the day. My support phrase will be 'to let go'.
I, as we all, have been holding on to too much baggage. So many days I wake up heavy, already burdened with emotional baggage that does not serve any purpose whatsoever, and does not need to be held on to. I think we go for so long holding on to things that we don't even realize we are doing it anymore, it starts to feel normal and even necessary. I can tell because I had a subtle reaction of fear in telling myself to 'let it go', as if I did not want to. As if I would be losing my possession and comfort, without realizing I had been possessed by my possession and I had taken comfort in discomfort.
I will live 'letting go' today, wherein I keep self-checking throughout the day, and when and as I see I am holding on and bracing myself, I will take a breath and let it go, walk completely unarmed into a blank slate, and write myself in the moment. This involves some self-trust, and knowing what is best for me must be considered.
Check out Desteni.org or DIP lite for such support!