At the start of August, my dad went from independent living to being hospitalised, overnight.
My brothers, my sister and I all live in different areas from him – one brother is as far away as Dubai. Over the next 3 or 4 weeks, there was a lot of travelling about, visiting him, seeing the doctors, trying to find out what was wrong and finally starting to look for permanent hospital rest home care.
Even as my niece, who lives near him, starting visiting potential places, we didn’t know whether he would ever leave the hospital. As it turned out, he didn’t and he slipped away on the 2nd of September, the night before Fathers Day in New Zealand.
Taken at his 70th birthday party by @sift666
If you’ve read @sift666’s recent post, you’ll already know that’s only part of the story and that it’s been a hard 6 weeks. We have both struggled with painful injuries, and given that we didn’t actually do anything to cause them, our best theories are some bizarre virus, or stress.
Last week, I helped my brother organise the funeral, in between carrying on our business. When you have customers who rely on your products, you can’t just close down for a week.
Then two days ago, @sift666’s dad also passed away, after being in dementia care for nearly two years.
So that’s why I’ve been largely absent for 6 weeks. Although we are struggling to carry on this week, for both of us it was time to share with Steemit.
Richard William Gully - 30th May 1933 to 2nd September 2017
A gentle man who was loved and will be missed by many.
Father of Deb, Ross, Neville and Andrea. Grandad of Richard, Brendan, Cory, Laura, Amy, Mathew, Bayley and Katelyn. Great Grandad of Micaiah and MacKenzie. Beloved brother, brother in law, uncle, father in law, ex-husband, friend, neighbour and brother in Christ to the Christadelphian ecclesia.
Apart from family and friends, the most important things to him were music, singing, painting, gardening and studying the word of God.
A recent photo with his Great Grandson
Some of my memories
I mostly remember his quirky sense of humour and his love of music. I remember a period of about 2 weeks when I was about intermediate age, when Dad and the father of my friend exchanged a prolonged series of nautical puns. Every time we were on the phone, they were sending messages back and forth to each other and thoroughly enjoying it.
Another time, when I was at high school, we had a class assignment to make a speech. I was excruciatingly shy and couldn’t face it. Dad helped me write a humorous poem about making speeches, which I delivered instead. The teacher scolded me for not making a speech, but it still got me off the hook. I wish I still had a copy of it. The only line I can remember is “stop dead in your tracks or I’ll spit in your eye” but I don’t recall the context at all!
He had a lovely singing voice and I wish we had some recordings of him singing. I remember listening to records with him. He didn’t have a lot but we often played Gilbert & Sullivan’s Yeoman of the Guard and Rose Marie with Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy. He also loved opera. I didn’t like that at all when I was young, but came to appreciate it later in life. In the last weeks when he was in hospital, I put together some music that we could play to him. One afternoon when I was the only one there, we had some precious time enjoying some of his favourites together.
When I was a bit older, I often got holiday work at Steel & Tube, where he worked. I remember he was respected and well liked amongst the staff there.
Over the last few days, we’ve heard many people say what a lovely man he was, how kind, or that he was their favourite uncle. All undeniably true, but he could also be feisty.
Most people, when confronted by a Jehovah’s Witness at the door would close it again promptly. But not Dad! He liked nothing better than to invite them in, whip out his bible, and debate with them. They always got more than they bargained for!
In his retirement years, he enjoyed growing roses and had some beautiful specimens. He also enjoyed doing paintings of his flowers and of landscapes, and most of the family have his paintings gracing their walls.
He took a keen interest in the fortunes of the NZ cricket team, and at family gatherings could often be found glued to Neville’s large screen TV set! His interest in current events was also keen right up to his last few weeks.
Remembering his music
I don’t do talking about my feelings. Music is how I express myself. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been listening to the kind of music Dad liked quite a bit. I put a lot of it on an iPad for my niece so she could play him some every day when she visited.
Possibly his greatest musical love was opera. He especially appreciated some of the bygone greats like Enrico Caruso and Maria Callas. I’ve been listening to Marilyn Horne singing Dove Sei from Rodelinda by Handel quite a bit this past month. Possibly this is suitable for only those of you who already love opera.
Maybe a bit more accessible is Dame Kiri te Kanawa singing O Mio Babbino Caro by Puccini
He also enjoyed Gilbert & Sullivan, and I remember listening to The Yeoman of the Guard with him often. A rather fun song is Take a Pair of Sparkling Eyes from The Gondoliers.
Some classics including Mozart and Bach were part of the mix. This clarinet concerto by Mozart is especially lovely.
He had a fondness for musicals starring Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy. Here’s the title track from Rose Marie
This compilation wouldn’t be complete without a song of faith. This was one of the pieces of music he’d picked for his funeral - I Know That My Redeemer Liveth, from Handel’s Messiah. I’ve picked a version by Lynne Dawson.
Even though Dad was 84, and I'll be 60 next birthday, I don't think anyone is ever ready to say goodbye to a parent.
Spending time with my extended family after the funeral, including cousins from out of town, was a great comfort. Treasure family while you have them.
Thanks for reading
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