Six out of eight people that I used to be close friends with, are now divorced. Five of them have kids and life really starts taking a very painful twist after such a settlement.
image credit
I refused to go to any of their weddings because I do not agree with the idea of marriage. I find it ridiculous that two consenting adults need an institutional blessing (whether religious, governmental or both) to live together. I also don't believe that a human connection has to be put down on bureaucratic paper so both can feel safe. A legal binding can settle this just fine. The whole idea of marriage is also contra to the notion of what some people call "romantic love" which I debunk here. Don't forget that marriage started as a business transaction with women being sold as property.
The act of a scheduled, institutional “romantic” marriage is even more appalling to me than arranged marriages from specialized agents; like it used to be in the past. The only exception I make for marriage is when it comes to citizenship, and this is just because I believe the way the government treats human bonds is ridiculous.
image credit
In any case. My now… acquaintances, had not talked to me for a while up until recently; you see, they found my stance offensive. Three of them have called me out of the blue periodically to tell me that "I was right"—crying on the side about how marriage totally screwed their lives. If it wasn’t the cute chick at the office that did the damage, it was lack of communication, decline in sexual desire, or worse (and often) all of the above.
I wonder if people ever gave a good thought on marriage. Let’s take a step back and be practical with the matter: Imagine if you had to hire an employee, forever. You would have to accept any shortcomings that they produce, forever. You won’t be able to fire them, or take any action that they don’t like. Doesn’t sound like a good plan now, does it?
People change. Many forget this. Much like two people magically got together by chance, synchronising their minds and hearts, in much the same way, we do drift apart.
image credit
One cannot naively accept the magic of randomness that aligns two people in a particular moment in time but reject it when it doesn’t suit them.That little voice in your head telling you right now that you got the whole package — because you and only you cupcakes are uniquely special snowflakes, is called Dopamine. It’s nature's booby trap to just get you to copulate based on your default physiological response; a tool for bonding and sex, not a compatibility report for a long term commitment such as marriage. Marriage is a human construct. We are polygamous creatures or at best, serially monogamous—except when we are not...
If after all this you still want to get married, you have a better chance marrying your best friend. Sexual attraction withers away soon because you are not supposed to be attracted to just one mate for a long time. If that was the case we would be extinct by now, due to a limited gene pool variation. "Opposites" may attract but "similars" are there to stay.
