I was able to give one of my old work colleagues today some cash to secure a house to rent for himself. He was made redundant at the same time as me last year, and unfortunately hasn't been as lucky as me. He has a lot more disabling things going on in his life right now, he's a single parent, and most of the time he struggles to find the necessary focus needed to take the skills he has learned into the wider community. He needs a manager, and because of this he has taken a job well below his skillset (in my opinion).
He's being made homeless at the end of this month, and as a result he's had to look hard for another place to live. Luckily for him he's found a nice home that suits his needs. Unlucky for him he needs a first months deposit to place down for his place of rent. And because he hasn't the funds in his account to pay the full amount I offered to pay the rest for him. And, he can pay me back whenever. Truth be told I don't expect him to pay me back, but he won't see this, so I'm not worried.
To me this gave me an awesome sense of satisfaction, my good deed for today, a reinforcement to myself of my own personal worth, and to him, a godsend, because no-one else was offering, and he had fully committed do doing extra work, looking for odd jobs here and there. Now he can focus on what matters.
The result? We're both extremely happy.
Positivity - I swear it's infectious.
Now you could argue that this deed was absolutely an act of selfishness, one to boost my ego and make it sound like I'm this some kind of brilliant person to know in an extremely covert act of manipulation, but that would require that I hold it against him for his life
"remember that time I saved you a nice home?"
Those subtle hidden meanings that tell the recipient, "You owe me".
No, it'll be nice if I get it back, but in all honesty I wouldn't be surprised if I never see it again. It wasn't really for him, you see.
Whenever I do something good for someone it's to reinforce my own set of morals, my own integrity and my own self-worth. This is essential in my opinion, because the more I do this, the less I look to others to determine my worth. If I think about it realistically that's why people give. They give because they can, and they want to. Don't confuse that with someone that gives to manipulate though!
When someone gives something there should be no unwritten contract, no secret law of conformity to untold rules. If I want it back, I'll tell them. There's no shame in that. Or if I need a favour, I'll tell them too!
Positivity to me is a very selfish subject. I very much like to lead by example. If I'm not happy and positive, if not every day I don't get up and think to myself 'Carpe Diem' then I wouldn't be writing about it, because it would be bad for me, and everyone else if I wasn't feeling it.
One of the first lessons I learned in being positive and changing the way people perceived me in general was to give without return. Give all the time, but give only if you have it to give. So no giving your friend a chair if you only have one chair! It would be the same as me going without lunch to feed the homeless guy. Whilst that in itself is really commendable, I'm not looking after number 1. And that's me.
Why look after yourself first and foremost? It seems stupid that I'm even asking this.
Well, if I was homeless I doubt I'd be in the proper mindset to sell homes to rich people. The same can be said for preaching 'love and commitment in relationships' if I had been married four times and had a thousand relationships in between. These aren't the proper attitudes as I simply couldn't lead by example.
So I ask you again community. Can you do something selfless this week?
Help an old lady across the road
Buy a homeless man dinner
Give something you have plenty of. And want nothing for it back. And eventually, you'll start to see what I mean.
Peace out.
And be well :)