I wish I could say I've had a great year, but I have not. My 2016 has been a series of intense and emotionally painful scenarios. Maybe I'll explain this further in a future article, but for right now, the gist of the story is that I fell into a massive depression between the months of March and August. It was Rock Bottom for me, and there were points during these months where I truly felt I was not going to make it out alive. I began to close down emotionally, and completely isolated myself. Even my best friend did not hear from me for over five months.
The good news is that I don't feel like that anymore. As much as I truly wanted to lay down and give up, I somehow pushed through. I eventually realized that I was not living up to my full potential, and the situation I was in was NEVER going to let me live up to that potential. So I made drastic changes. I found some strength I unknowingly had, and purged the things in my life that didn't serve my greatest good. I basically chose to burn everything I knew down to the ground (metaphorically speaking) so I could build it up again; only better.
Currently everything is still in shambles, though, at least the fire is out. And once you realize you've burned everything down, you quickly become motivated to fix that. Rock bottom is a good place to be at times. I believe everyone will go through some sort of Rock Bottom at some point of their life as a test of strength and character.
Just how strong are you? Are you going to wallow, or are you going to push through it? It's completely up to you. Personally, I chose to wallow for about two weeks, and then I got sick and tired of that, graciously picked myself up, and moved forward.
Why did I metaphorically burn everything to the ground? Why did I give up the life I was living?
Because the metaphoric foundation of this metaphoric house was built on metaphoric sand. It really offered nothing for me except the promise of working hard for someone else's dream (a great dream, but not my dream), and living in someone else's shadow for the rest of my life. And I was ok with that at first, because I didn't really see myself as worthy or deserving of anything more.
And then I experienced Ayahuasca.
I am so grateful that I got to meet this mind-blowing medicine. I sat wrapped in a blanket overlooking the Ocean in Acapulco, Mexico fascinated with the fact that I had a body! I truly feel like I touched the core of my soul in a time span of seven hours. And once you touch the core of your soul, you recognize just how beautiful and loving (and powerful because of that) you truly are. I realized the light inside of me that burned so passionately was not supposed to be wasted.
I understood this medicine more than I understood myself, and in that moment I realized just how important it was to share Ayahuasca with as many people as I could. I realized that I had a powerful voice, and if I talked loud enough, people would hear me. I knew in that ceremony that I was put on this earth to help assist in the healing of others' mental and emotional states. Am I the healer? No. The real healer is the sacred plant. I'd just help administer her.
So the reason why I burned everything I knew, the reason why my life is literally unrecognizable, is to help in the process of healing our world; one individual at a time.
I truly believe that the Universe is evolving. We cannot push it faster than it is already moving. Obviously, the Number 1 goal for anarchists is to end government. But I truly believe that will only happen when nearly everyone on earth has found inner peace. Without inner peace, there will be more tyranny, more war, more suffering.
That's why I believe psychedelics are keys to our mind's eternal library. All psychedelics can open various doors into your subconscious, but I feel Ayahuasca is the Master Key. She can open the deepest hidden doors to your psyche in a very gentle way.