Two people meet, they feel attracted to each other, know each other, like the conversation, exchange, "are" for a day, two weeks and when everything seems to go well, moving towards a more stable relationship, one party away and disappears. Many people have seen this happen to people nearby or have gone through this situation.
The rupture occurs when a distant way, social network or without much explanation and without clear reasons, you can leave the other person some brands. Many questions remain unanswered and that silence gives rise to various insecurities arise. The question "what have I done wrong? "Sounds increasingly strong in the imagination, bringing anguish and sadness. In practice it is often the number of insecure men and women in relation to their own value, fear of rejection and abandonment. And it tends to be a snowball, the more insecure, more afraid to relate and truly open to a relationship.
Why does it happen?
Unlike the past, today we have access to many things quickly and disposable form such as food, photography, video, clothing, etc. We enjoy things without having to wait too much or too strive to have them. In this context often we end up transferring this behavior also for our relations. Who deals with this subject well is the sociologist Zygmunt Bauman, who points out the fragility of the current affective relationships. Relationships end as fast as start, people think end with a problem cutting their ties, but they do it is to create problems upon problems.
The proximity between two people suggests that there will be a stable relationship and this can disturb, because the commitment requires a real effort, a capacity to deal with the post-excitation time novelty. When we commit to something means that we care about the other person, we are together in various situations, we will meet friends and family, that is, we need to give ourselves and true to engage with each other in a real relationship with routine, dislikes and joys.
A relationship also indicates that at some point we will have to deliver a part of us to each other and that part we can not control, you have to trust, trust that the other will not abandon me, who will respect me, will be loyal, you want my good. This moment can be very difficult because there is no guarantee that a relationship will work or not, and that's the nature of the relationship, it is only known living.
The commitment mainly suggests ripening, only when compromises us with something truly, whether at work, in family, in love, is to build something, is that really grow.
Romantic relationships are a great exercise for personal growth, when we like someone we must strive to understand the person we love, out of our perspective and look a bit the others perspective, finding different solutions to conflicts, make arrangements, We accept that we would not accept a month ago. All this contributes to our personal and emotional development.
For a more affective world.
Relations, beyond maturing, bring pleasure to life. To love and to feel loved, to share good and bad experiences do very well to humans, bring a sense of security and well-being. According to Martin Seligman, a psychologist and one of the great authors of Positive Psychology, marriage is closely linked to happiness. Married feel more supported and happy people are more likely to marry and to maintain the relationship. Moreover, the relationships also bring health benefits, a study by the Hamad Medical Corporation - Heart Hospital, showed that, even in young people, have a stable relationship leads men and women to adopt healthier habits.
All this proves that maintaining stable and healthy relationships are good and promote happiness. When there is a genuine will to relate need to understand the conscious and unconscious barriers that prevent a real relationship. Sometimes we build belief in the past that plague us today, unconscious factors may be at work in our lives, we must want to understand them and offering new significance in.
The self process is critical for us to change patterns that no longer serve and open ourselves to the changes we desire. Psychotherapy can be an important ally in this process, as it helps to become more flexible and generous with us, building a life with more love and well-being.