I wanted to write these words so that they remain within the blockchain and keep a memory alive
Something about the eternal nature of the blockchain has inspired me to write a few words about a very dear friend of mine. I wanted to create a little digital tombstone for my pal who sadly died 18 months ago, leaving behind a beautiful daughter. These words are for her and for when she is old enough to go searching for the essence of this great man.
I also write these words to her as a way of explaining our deep friendship and what it meant to me. I know for a fact he hated social media so whilst I know he would appreciate me storing these thoughts for his daughter I will stay true to him by changing his name and not sharing any close up pictures.
He was a man who served as a great inspiration throughout the many years I knew him and so I’m going to include the eulogy I wrote for his funeral. That may sound strange to some but it was the first time I’d put pen to paper in over twenty years. The act of writing his eulogy left me with his final inspiration, the strength to continue writing/refining and following my dreams. In turn giving me the courage to become the man I should have always been and for that I’m eternally grateful. The eulogy is also for his daughter to read because I hope the rawness (even the roughness of my writing) of the moment enabled me to capture the essence of who her Father was.
Man we were like brothers, minds melded from decades of laughter, partying, deep thought, discussion and contemplation. Neurons and synapses interwoven and firing on all cylinders, infectious crackling energy pervading the very air that we breathed. We floated through life on a cusp of a beautiful dream, a dream so tangible I can still reach out my hands and touch it. Grasp it for a second, a minute an hour? It doesn’t matter for time is meaningless when holding onto a dream. But all the best dreams must come to an end, leaving us rudely awakened and clawing at the last vestiges of a fading memory. But these are memories that will transcend the sands of time, for they are me, they are who I was who I am and everything I hope to be. They are my understanding that this is my moment, that the now belongs to us all, we own this time and this space and it’s ours to hold onto or give away.
I now live my life with a heart wide open, free from regret of words left unspoken.
Thank you.
Eulogy
If I’m honest I never thought I’d find myself standing in front of a crowd of people declaring my love for another man. But today I feel proud and humbled to be able to do just that for my dear friend Shi. I use the term friend very loosely for I’ve always thought Shi more akin to a brother than friend
On the 26th October we lost the most compassionate, intelligent and humerous man we may ever know. And from an entirely selfish perspective the world is still spinning and I’m left without my friend, confidant and brother. Some people make such an impression upon your life that their passing leaves a void that will never be filled, leaving you longing for the shared carefree summer days of youth. Though at the same time I draw a strength from experiences shared and journeys undertaken.
We all die, but how many of us live? And by that I mean truly live. I know for a fact Shi lived the lives of ten men and in turn taught me that it’s not the time we have but how we choose to spend it, and indeed who we choose to spend it with. He was the man that everyone tried to keep up with but could never quite catch. In many ways I’ve often thought that Shi lived his life the same way he drove his car, with no compromises, his foot to the floor, braking at the last minute and only occasionally checking the rear view mirror!
There are so many stories and anecdotes I could share about Shi and infinitely more that are best kept to myself. I could talk about the time we found ourselves in an Antiguan ghetto/shanty town as guests of honour at calypso Jim’s house (the islands Calypso King). I could tell hair raising stories about scaling cliffs at two in the morning, regale you with tales about road trips to festivals across Europe. I could tell you about the man that after I moved to Scotland used to call me three times a week and when he felt I may be getting lonely used to regularly jump in the car and drive 600 miles to see me, if I remember rightly knocking off around four hours of my advised journey time in the process! I could talk of the thoughtfulness of a man that I asked (before I once again moved) to burn me a few CD’s and who turned up a few days later with bags under his eyes and a 100 CD’s complete with his own writing and artwork.
There are so many stories I could share but alas I only have a short time to talk and I don’t feel that time allows me to do any of them the justice they deserve. So my aim is to simply try and capture the essence of the man I knew, a man who amongst a sea of mediocrity and conformity stood alone as a shining beacon of respect and individuality.
There are so many things I shall miss about Shi but one of them shall certainly be our long talks and discussions. We talked with open minds that knew no political, religious or ideological constraints. We left our minds open to explore infinite possibilities, so in honour of these cherished talks and our shared love of fringe science and psychedelia (I’m sorry if I lose a few people here lol). Somewhere within the multiplicity of the space time continuum it’s a hot sunny day and myself, Shi and Kaya are sitting in our favourite spot alongside the beautiful river Dart. The water is trickling past, the wind is gently rustling the green leaves of summer, and the sun is shimmering above our heads. We sit back without a care in the world and with nothing to do but watch the world go by and bask in the midday sun. Somewhere an excited Shi is picking up the phone to tell me that he’s going to be a Father and somewhere upon hearing this news and knowing that at that moment he’s the happiest and proudest man alive I’m holding back tears of joy. And somewhere everyone in this room is having their own cherished moment with Shi and in knowing that please understand that he will continue to live in all of us.
As difficult as this moment is we all know that Shi lived a life that was rich and full, a life that needs to be celebrated. Indeed he cemented his journey with the completion of the cycle of life as his final and defining act.
Time waits for no man, I’ve heard them say, but in the sand of time the wise men play (and boy did he play). May your soul fly free and your laugh echo in the halls of eternity, love you my brother, now and always.
We always used to go wild camping at the start of each Summer and all the pictures are from these camping trips. The song below is also one that has secured a special place in my heart. We used to play it each year and now as soon as I feel the first rays of summer dance across my face I play it to remind me of the neverending cycle of life.
