I have been practicing saying yes.
I was invited to a meeting of women last week. It was a lovely group who came together to celebrate being women. My best friend dragged me along. I was reticent, but I am grateful she persisted.
I did not think much about the group immediately after other than it was relaxing and I would love to be invited back. This week has been replete with coincidence, bringing me into contact with not one, but two of the women I met in the group. Both asked me if I would like to meet as friends--one for coffee and one for a walk in the woods.
I truly wanted to decline. I started to make excuses about being busy, but who am I? I have every night free. I do my work, I go home alone, I cook, I clean, I read, I cry, I Netflix. So I said yes.
I met up with Sandy yesterday afternoon. We sat outside a Starbucks and drank lattes. I am an awkward person. I try to relax, but I am more often on edge and worried whether what I am saying is making sense. Sandy is the opposite. She leaned back with her drink in hand, crossed her legs and the knee and told me how she gets bogged down in being a mother and she appreciated me meeting her. It was good to be with another adult, she said.
I felt I could tell her anything, but I held back. I do not want to frighten her off so soon. I am only slightly joking. My story isn't a pretty one, even if I am choosing to make it beautiful now.
I haven't met with Jennifer yet. She wears witchy skirts and carries Tarot cards in her handbag. She said we should drink wine in the forest and she will read my cards for me. I love the idea. I hope to set down a time with her this weekend. If we aren't able to connect prior to that, I may go on my own.
There is a goodness to going even if my "date" doesn't show. I spend my free time at home. Stepping away from this space offers me new perspective. It is what I am seeking, after all.
Where do you go for a change of pace? What are the ways you are saying yes? Remember, talking to you keeps me from talking to myself. Haha!
xoxo,
Dani
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