I have an autistic son Jonathan and one of the life lessons that I have learned from my autistic son is to ask the question why. Knowing the purpose behind your desire or your action, will motivate you carry on in the face of challenges and obstacles.
One of the life skills that Jonathan learned at the Kuching Autistic Association Educational and Resource Center was washing clothes. As Jonathan loves playing with water, it was a task that he enjoys doing very much. Little did Roselind and I realize that this simple task that Jonathan would create havoc at home. Since Jonathan enjoy washing clothes so much, he started washing clothes at home. The problem is he didn’t care whether the clothes are clean or dirty. He didn’t understand that only dirty clothes need to be washed. So he would get whatever clothes or rags he could find, soaked them in a bucket and then washed them. When he couldn’t find any clothes, he would take out his own clothes from the wardrobe and washed them. We had to ask the Center to stop letting Jonathan wash clothes at school and at the same time keep a vigilant eye at the bathroom in our house. Jonathan didn’t know the purpose of washing the clothes. All he knows is that washing clothes is fun and he enjoys doing it.
Having reflected on this incident, I realize too that there are a lot of things that we do in life without knowing why. It can be out of habit, because of our culture or just that everyone else is also doing it. One of this is goal setting. We have always been told that to get the best out of our lives, we need to set goals.
A lot of people who after so much hard work and having achieve their goals asked themselves this question. “Is this it?”. They have arrived at their desired destination after years of hard work but do not feel any sense of accomplishment or even any sense of satisfaction. Even more tragic, is that having achieved the goals, they realized that this is not what they want in the first place. Figuratively speaking, these people have placed the ladders against the wrong wall. Thus after the arduous climb to the top, they end up in the wrong destination. I remembered a friend of mine who was so exasperated when daughter at the end of her 3-year diploma course in civil engineering told her that she (the daughter) wanted to be a hairdresser.
I wish to clarify here that I am not belittling the goal setting process. On the contrary, I believe that this is a powerful process and that can help to achieve the goals or the dreams that you desire. However before you embark on the goal setting process, I strongly believe that you should reflect on why you want to achieve the goal in the first place. What is the purpose of your goal? If you do not ponder on the purpose, then you may be like my autistic son Jonathan who just keeps on washing clothes including clean clothes.