The beginning of a love relationship is full of dreams, projections and expectations. With the coexistence we realize that some of the expectations are met and others not. Each brings a life story and the idea of what is important give and take in a relationship.
We tend to look the other, and to interpret what he does, through our perspective, which is a big mistake. It is common in a couple hear the phrase: "It is obvious that such a thing is important, anyone see." Implying that the other is not perceived in the same way is because it's not caring, which leads to other interpretations, as she or he does not like me or is immature or is accommodated etc.
Before reaching these conclusions is essential to consider another possibility, namely that what is obvious to one person may not be to another. We need to find ways to explain what is important to you and hear truly what the other has to say, accepting that the two stories have equal weights.
Disqualifications
When the different perspectives are unclear, there is no communication between the couple, it is common disappointments become frequent and start disqualifications.
Disqualifications often arise, expressing insecurity, bitterness and contempt for others and can happen as ironies with excessive negative charge.
We often hear, both men and women, complaints about the partner, saying that the other does not care about any difficult situation or who would like a greater participation in the routine of the house. Dislikes this order are natural in the relationship, but when they become applicants can become a serious problem.
Begins a negative dynamic in the relationship, fed by a party that disqualifies another. The side often criticized can not stand and move away temporarily or permanently. But there are other possibilities, one can accept this place and feel weakened and powerless, have their damaged self-esteem and become passive and dependent. This behavior has a direct effect on the relationship, which leads the couple to remain united not by love, admiration and respect, but the dependence that one has of the other.
Intentions and appreciation
Sometimes, when one partner is very critical may intend to help, yet it is important to assess whether the criticism is not increasing insecurity instead of motivating the fellow to change.
Along with the good criticism it is important to recognize and value the other what he does good and does well. One can be very good at managing the house, do the shopping, the food, arrange cleaning and storage of clothes ... and the other can be great in trading values, discuss more sensitive issues with children .... Every human being is good in a particular area.
Recognize that the partner is good, reduces uncertainty, encourages greater involvement and strengthens self-esteem and unity. In addition, it feeds a healthy relationship based on admiration. Happy couples feel good about the presence of other valued. Exercise this positive feedback in your relationship, remember what fascinated you in person when you meet. This strengthens the relationship and gives a solid basis to share life, be it as it may.