The winter holidays can be one of the most stressful times of the year.
I mean, there are so many things to do.
So many presents to buy, meals to cook, office parties to attend, your children's final year ballet show or theatre play and so many relatives to reconnect with!
You can feel the tension and the stress in the air, especially if you live in a big city. I don't know how it is in a village or smaller town, but I guess it's not that crazy.
Anyways, add to the already full plate the massive brainwashing we are all exposed to through advertising and movies.
The ads for Christmas and New Years or whatever holiday you observe in your tradition, are showing only perfect, happy, harmonious families gathered around the dinner table.
Everyone is properly dressed, smiling and seems to have their sh*t together.
On an unconscious level, we all get the message that THIS is how we should be also.
And then when we take a look at our own messy, screwed-up, twisted, noisy families we think there’s something wrong with us.
Let me reassure you, darling, nobody has their shit together like those fake families in the advertising clips.
So, please, pretty please, if you want to go through these holiday without losing your mind or your temper, drop at least one word from your vocabulary: PERFECT.
Along with this word comes a plethora of unrealistic expectations and the subsequent disappointments.
There is no perfect family dinner, especially around Christmas or whatever holidays.
So the quicker you are to embrace the messiness of being human and having a far from perfect family, the sooner you’ll relax and your stress level will drop down along with it.
Of course, there are also a few practical things that will help you stay grounded and centered in the middle of these noisy and chaotic times of the year.
Remember to breathe deeply and consciously a few times a day, especially when you realize you’re getting tensed.
Give yourself some alone and quiet time at least once a day. If you have a daily meditation practice don’t skip it, especially during these days. Go for a walk in a park even if it’s just for a few minutes. The trees and the plants will help you reground and relax. Or do whatever works for you and that you can make time for: be it a bubble bath in the evening or 20 minutes of yoga in the morning.
Make sure to drink plenty of water and keep your blood sugar levels optimal. Often times, when we get too busy we forget to take care of our basic needs, like food or water.
Keep your “to do” list short and realistic. Take a second look at it and cross off what it’s not really necessary.
Ask for help when you need to and feel overwhelmed. Don’t wait until you’re cranky and upset because “I have to do everything alone”. If you ask for help in a nervous mood you’ll most likely get a “no”. It’s better to ask joyfully and be OK either you receive a “yes” or a “no”.
Remember what you really want for yourself and what the holidays are actually about before heading on the stressed out road. This is a time for expressing love and appreciation for our families and friends and for everything that we have.
So remember you always have a choice between love and fear, between stress and peace. It's up to you to stay on your path amidst these rather chaotic times.
I hope this little guide will help you have a more serene, peaceful and joyful winter holidays, wherever you are.
I'm an empathic psychologist, intuitive coach, blogger and vlogger. You can find me mainly on my blog at Being Raluca where I write about communication, relationships, listening and sexuality. Here on Steemit you may stay updated by following me @raluca.
