Dear friend,
You asked me someday (I remember exactly when) what I learned from you. It was perhaps the most personal question you asked me. I do not remember how many times you asked me how I feel or what I want ... But I'm not writing about myself now. It's about you. About the man you are. About the power you have in yourself and everything you've taught me, not knowing you do.
I know you'll remember who you really are. Just like you remembered who I was, in a paradoxical way, without being close to me. I did not want anything and no one as I wanted you to. And you did not see me. And somehow, in all that reality, in all that pain, it was the best thing that happened to me ...
I do not know how you're going through the heavy things in your life. I do not know you, but I feel like we're the same. So I'll tell you how I went. In the most lonely and desperate moments that everyone with or without God has, I have remembered many happy childhood moments. Things I've forgotten for many years, and I did not know anything about. That's because I was constantly wondering, "What was I before you?" "How could I live before?" It was my method of consolation. I closed my eyes and, without wanting, my brain designed images, remembered odors, sounds and words forgotten. It's fascinating how the subconscious helps you when you help!
So, I remembered that, above all, I was free. The freedom that you have when you are a child, which often resembles selfishness. The freedom to do what you really enjoy, not to play with the children you do not like, just to leave where you are not well ... That ease with which you could be honest with you without hurting ... The freedom in which, except for the mother's desire that I think we carry in DNA, I do not report anyone to define my happiness. I was just me and the immense sky ... and the land we were running ...
Besides my father, I'd never met a man so strong as you. And you have given me all your majesty, all the strength and serenity that I find in your eyes, in the morning when you let me be with you.
I never imagined you could be sad sometimes ... though I often wondered if you feel the same as me. I begged you not to feel ... I was wondering if you feel alone? What if you were hungry? What if you miss it? I was trying to imagine how I would take care of you if you were sick? ... I do not think I had the courage to ever ask you sitting in front of you. I could not imagine just the way we can not imagine when we were kids that our parents are afraid of the same things as we do. Even more things sometimes ...
I'm writing to you, thinking maybe maybe even a word of mine to remember who you are. Although, I'm not sure I chose the right rows ...
Please do not forget, no matter how much you love it, that love will lift you from below, will not tread you ... That you will feel appreciated, special, strong and courageous. And that everything does not look like these feelings, it's just a pale trace of what some people mean by love. You are more than that!
Please also do not forget that, although love will protect and fill you, nothing of all that lives is enduring. So, do not seek safety, vows, and everlasting covenant. Seek to feel! Feel so crazy! Feel with all that you're there to be and that's your way really! Seek to live the full of your soul!
You taught me that I only know my way and that only in me can I find power ... Remember ...
I'd like, for a moment, you can see through my eyes. For I am powerless any words I find ...
You're not alone! Do not forget !