The Dark Side of Food Allergies: What no one will talk about

This isn't something I admit openly. In fact, if you were to ask me about it in person, I'd probably lie.

Yet, it's something that needs to be said, and I'm finally ready to say it. I say "finally" because although I have been dealing with food allergies for 4+ years (and food blogging 2 of those years), this has never been a topic I've written about openly.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, what are food allergies?

The Mayo Clinic defines a "food allergy" this way:

"A food allergy is an immune system reaction that occurs soon after eating a certain food. Even a tiny amount of the allergy-causing food can trigger signs and symptoms such as digestive problems, hives or swollen airways."

Most people are familiar with normal food allergies like peanuts that cause an anaphylaxis reaction.

Even eating a PB&J next to someone with a severe peanut allergy can have bystanders frantically looking for an epi pen to open the person's swollen airway. This is a common food allergy, right up there with tree nuts, gluten, and lactose. It causes an immediate reaction and everyone can be sympathetic to the situation.

What most people are not familiar with are "incognito" food allergies and how they can wreak havoc on an individual's body and life.

I call these "incognito" because they a) might not be common foods that people associate with allergies and b) probably cause uncharacteristic reactions (unfamiliar symptoms, delayed reactions, etc.). It could be strawberries that cause an itchy throat for a few hours, or a severe response like searing stomach pains for 24 hours after eating tomatoes. Either way, they are foods that need to be avoided for optimal health and quality of life.

So what does all this have to do with me, and why don't I want to talk about it?

I deal with a laundry list of incognito food allergies.

Gluten - Even a small amount causes what can be described as severe stomach flu. It takes days to work its way out of my body.
Animal products (dairy, cheese, eggs, meat) - These give me the worst migraines imaginable; not even strong painkillers will give relief.
Peanuts - Like animal products, they cause earth-shattering migraines (thankfully no anaphylaxis reaction).
Soy - I can sometimes eat limited amounts, but it causes hot flashes and an upset stomach.
Sesame seeds, Onion, Peas - These all seem to produce the same reactions. Even a single sesame seed will cause my face to break out in hives and painful cystic acne that won't go away for 4-6 weeks. My hands usually become red and inflamed, and sometimes my skin will become scaly.

If you're thinking, "Wtf, those are so random," I would have to agree with you. Until 2012, these are foods I had eaten my entire life. Slowly, my body just said "NOPE. Not havin' it."

By the end of 2012, I was getting discouraged. My list of allergies was so restrictive, it was hard to find anything to eat. In stores. In restaurants. In recipes.

Confession #1: These food allergies led me into a serious battle with depression.

I exhausted all the possible medical solutions you can imagine, but allergy therapy would cost tens of thousands of dollars (and it's not covered by insurance.) That wasn't an option. As time went on I felt more alone and isolated. No one really understood what I was dealing with and friends and family alike were completely unsympathetic. (In fact, my grandma purposely lied to me when I asked if a snack had gluten in it because she thought I was following a "fad diet." The result was two days of missed college classes because I was so sick.)

My best solution was to start problem-solving another way. If I can't eat all the products and recipes I was used to, what I could do is write my own recipes that I would love. I remember thinking, "I'm sure there are other people who would have similar allergies and would appreciate the recipes, too." So that's just what I did.

My goal was to write two recipes per week for a year. By the end, I'd have 104 gluten-free and vegan recipes and no more excuses for not having food I'd enjoy.

I ended up creating more than the 104 recipes I originally set out to write, which was an achievement I am very proud of. Throughout the year, though, I had also honed a brand new craft that I absolutely adored. It wasn't long until I was getting absolutely lost cooking new creations in the kitchen. Hours could go by and I'd hardly notice. I still feel that way. There was only one problem developing:

My whole life started revolving around cooking.

On the surface, it's not such a bad thing. It's something I love and cooking de-stresses me, too. Except, it is all I can rely on. To illustrate the underlying problem: If I don't have time to prepare food, that can mean going 8-14 hours during the day without eating. I can't just pick up a sandwich for lunch and there aren't many snacks that are affordable/allergy-friendly to hold me over.

"Wait, I don't understand," you say, "Why don't you just set aside more time to pack lunches and prepare food? And surely there must be some restaurants that can accommodate?"

Confession #2: I would rather starve myself than risk eating food that would cause a severe allergic reaction.

There are actually a handful of restaurants in Arizona that have gluten free, vegan options (+ without peanuts, onion, peas, soy, sesame seeds), but they are few and far between. Usually, I can have just one menu item at these restaurants, and it's a 90% chance that I will still be "poisoned" anyway. Servers are unknowledgeable about ingredients, chefs don't read the tickets carefully, and no one takes your food allergies seriously unless you threaten a deadly reaction. (Breaking out in hives 2-24 hours later doesn't count, apparently.)

And could I probably set aside more time? Absolutely. But as it is, I spend about 2-3 hours of each day preparing food. It gets old and it's exhausting. Instead of going to the gym, hiking, painting canvases, or hanging out with friends....I am chained to the kitchen. Or else, I don't eat.

Confession #3: If people ask about it, I'll lie. There are very few who really know what's going on behind the scenes and that's a huge burden.

When most people ask you, "So how's your day going?" what they want to hear is, "Good, and you?" They aren't looking for the real answer. Unless it's your best friend or Mom, say you're doing peachy and leave it at that. It's easier to pretend I'm okay than to explain what's wrong over and over. The explanation is usually met by puzzled looks and awkwardness. No one can fix this thing, and they (understandably) don't know how to react. So I try and spare everyone an uncomfortable situation

Confession #4: Sometimes it's so hard I want to just give up completely. The worst part is that I know I can't.

In all honesty, most of the time, I am doing peachy. I'm an optimistic, problem-solving person who truly enjoys a good challenge. There are just some days, some weeks.....I just want to give up. Close my eyes, fall asleep, and find an allergy-free dream world and stay there forever. But that's not how reality works.

So here I am, sharing my story in hopes that even just one person will find solace in knowing that they are not alone dealing with these things. Incognito food allergies are a bitch. But if I know one thing, it's:

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." --Martha Washington