Even though I never had much while growing up, I always considered myself fortunate. I always thought life played by my rules and in many ways it did.
I still remember how I used to write jokes and tell them to my grandmother. I was around 11 years old. And she was in her 90s.
Every day after coming back home from school, she told me she was in pain. Then I used my tiny hands to press her arms and legs. It reduced her pain, she said. It was then I told her my mediocre jokes.
I have to admit:
Hearing my jokes?
My grandmother went nuts. She laughed way too much. And she couldn't control it. :)
To see a smile on her face made me happy. In my mind, I was always seeking fresh jokes. I started watching comedy shows. Asked my friends. Neighbors. And even landlord. For more jokes.
Yet, in between all this, there's something that I missed:
My grandmother always encouraged me. She told me how the mole on my chest makes me, umm, special. And how it is a sign of greatness. It was as if I was destined for a bright future.
At that point, I was very young to even question that.
I simply took her suggestions.
Over the years, everything she said has changed my life. I am fortunate to be self-employed since the age of 16. I am fortunate to work with great people. I am fortunate to support my family. And I am fortunate to witness life differently.
And then there's the other side.
The other side of me meeting a tiny percentage of folks who tried to bring me down. I don't know why but they didn't want me to succeed. Something felt off about them.
Yet luckily, I learned to move away from these people. I said NO to them. And I designed my own path to success while doing so.
Here's why I say NO to these negative people:
1. They discourage you
No matter the circumstances, this world offers equal opportunities to anyone who wish to upgrade themselves. These negative people see it differently:
They NEVER try. And they NEVER let you try.
Which means they discourage you from moving forward. They don't see the world like you. They don't see the endless opportunities this world presents to you.
Then they judge you before you even try. They question you. And never miss the opportunity to discourage you further.
Why?
Because...
2. Most of them never live with hope
They live with fear.
As I grow older, I see fear is the easiest path to mediocrity. And most people love mediocrity.
I have found negative people support you less and less with time. They don't like the changes in their own lives. And they don't want you to change. In fact, they turn against you as you change.
And the worst part?
These people can be often found in your own circle — perhaps among your friends and, unfortunately, among your family too.
3. They look into the past to see what's worse
Do you know anyone who is always complaining? Perhaps someone around you that never says "I feel freakin' good." Instead they dive into their past and looks into their problems?
If you think about it, you will see our past can both be our enemy and friend. It can teach us many things. Yet these negative people see past for what's worse... to establish their present.
With all these happening inside their head, forget the future. They never think about it.
Which brings us to the next question:
What if these negative people are saying all this for your own good?
And worst of all:
What if they are RIGHT?
This is a very important point I wish to address. Some of these negative people are criticizers. Some deluded. Some jealous. Some plain negative. And others a mix of all.
This is where YOU play a crucial role.
You have the choice to do what's right.
It is YOU who has to make informed decisions. You have that golden key of decision making with you. So if they offer you any advice — see through their advice.
Question this advice.
Look beyond it.
Question the person offering you this advice.
And then you make your own decision because, ultimately, as always, the choice is with you.
With that said, here are a couple of choices that already exists.
How to Deal With Negative People
Last year, I disconnected with 4 people. It was tough the first time I did it because I never say goodbye easily. Here's how to do it:
1 Disconnect
Just stop them from entering your life.
Tell these negative people you longer wish to connect with them.
Just disconnect. It's that simple.
Remember: This is your life. As, if you read my previous post, you will know your time is valuable. So there's more to life than engaging in useless argument with negative people.
2. Be the best version of yourself
Everyone in the room are happy to sit and judge you. That's how most people are.
I firmly believe your job is NEVER to prove them they are wrong.
You job, in fact, is to be the best version of yourself. You have to keep pushing if you wish to. You have to keep moving forward if you wish to. Just do what you want to do.
That's all there is to life.
(A note I wrote to myself in 2013. I used to read this out loud everyday. I have more. And I will show you why I do this. Perhaps in another article).
Every time you believe in yourself, and make your own decisions, and live by it?
You will feel good.
And, as you will notice for yourself, some of these negative people who try to discourage you will change their opinion about you. They wish to take credit for your growth.
But that's an added bonus.
Just be yourself and believe in yourself.
3. Seek Success
Another way of saying:
Chase your dreams.
Perhaps you wanted freedom. More wealth. Or more peace.
Anything it is, the moment your direct your mind towards your dreams, you are walking in the right direction.
Then all that there is left is execution.
Always seek success. And create your own definition of success.
4. Surround yourself with awesome people
Most never get this.
Look for people with common interest.
Bond over these common interest.
That's how you make friends. Awesome friends.
It's a beautiful world out there with beautiful people, so enjoy your time here!
As I always say:
HAVE FUN! :)
It's that simple, isn't it?
Conclusion
Your deserve every inch of happiness there exists in this world. So you can either live with negative people and let them burden you...
Or simply make the right choice. I hope and pray you make the right choice.
Because a simple decision here can lead to miracles.
With that said, what is it that you did to remove negativity out of your life?
How did you evolve?
And what are the things you are doing right now to make your life better?
It's almost 4 AM as I write this yet I wish to hear your thoughts. Do let me know through the comments below! :)
Cheers,
Sid