Some people aggravate the living hell out of me. I take one look at what they are wearing, what they are saying, what they are doing and I know everything about them. Are you like me? Can you relate?
Then I remember to use the Mel Robbins 5-second rule. 5-4-3-2-1 Focus. Now I can see more clearly. It's never really about anyone else, its always always about me. You see, I have this voice inside my head. I call him Bob. I call him Bob because I read in a book somewhere and the author named the voice in his head Bob. If anyone read that book, please let me know what it is, in order to give the author credit. Anyway, the voice,Bob is a big fat liar.
I have been reading steemit posts by @jerrybanfield. Bob hates everything about this guy. I would tell you some of the things he says but, it not really nice and it a little R rated. The truth is that Jerry has seemed to accomplish many things that I wish I could have already accomplished. I see him all over social media and he puts out really good content. Man I wish I could be like that. The thing about this guy Jerry , is that he is authentic. I can tell. He is real comfortable with himself. He seems to really know what he is doing with his life. You see, I dont want to be Jerry, I would like to be like him. And thats why Bob hates him. Me? I dont know Jerry but I love him.
I have had this experience with other people in my life. My perceived image of how successful they are in all areas of their life makes me feel "less than", somehow unworthy and not good enough. My unconscious reaction is to let Bob make all the decisions for me. So I Judge. So today I don't listen to Bob anymore. He is always there. He always has something stupid to say.
When I stand in judgement of other people it never has anything to do with them. I always step back and ask myself " What has this got to do with me?" . Sometimes I can figure it out right away but sometimes it can take me months. ie. I used to have a problem with handicaped people. They made me feel really akward and I would just avoid contact with them. It took me 6 months to realize that they reminded me of my own weakness. The ironic fact is that when Istarting to talk with handcaped people I realized that they we not weak at all. They didnt see themselves as weak either. Then I realize that I am not weak, I am just fearful of being weak.
I would love to tell you that I have conquered my shortcoming with this awarnes but that would be a Lie. I still judge , but only for a few seconds and then I can snap back to reality. I welcome it, It gives me a chance to know myself better. The other thing I learned is that the harder we Judge, Sentance, and punish others. The Harder we Judge,Sentance and punish ourselves