I've recently moved apartments and though it wasn't my first time, I learned quite a few new lessons this time, having to live through it with an anxiety disorder.
True, there's no shortage of "tips for moving house" lists out there, but this one is based on my own personal and very recent experience, and deals less with packing techniques and more with the emotional side of dealing with relocation - even if it's to a flat across the street from your old one, and even if you've never had a panic attack in your life.
1. Let yourself stress (a bit)
Congratulations, you've picked out your new home! Be it a rental flat, a room in a dorm or an owned house - it's home. Some psychologists claim that moving house is one of life's biggest traumas, right up there with divorce and other unpleasantries. So it's okay to freak out a bit about the whole ordeal. Having a support network is helpful, but the panic you feel is often unrelated. It's just natural.
Giving yourself the permission to be stressed actually relieves stress. Everyone freaks out when they relocate to a new home, regardless off "direction" - moving up or down in lifestyle.
2. Start early
As soon as you know you're moving - start the process, both in thought and actions. You don't need to start packing a year in advance, but you also don't want to find yourself running around like a headless chicken the night before the moving truck arrives.
But what can you do in advance, and in order to relax and de-stress? You can...
3. Make lists and plans
One of the main challenges about moving is the sheer quantity of tasks involved. There are probably hundreds of them, depending on how big your family is and how far you move.
Trying to keep all of these in your head can drive you insane. It will keep you awake at night, and you might find yourself living in constant fear of forgetting something important. Which is a real danger, if you try keeping it all in your head. So make lists. Digital, paper, shared with family and divided into categories.
Illustration via Pixabay
4. Prioritize
So you're sitting in front of a HUGE spreadsheet or tasklist and the panic comes creeping in. Stop. Start giving tasks weight. For example, returning CDs to your ex is not as important as getting boxes for packing. Also, give tasks due dates and deadlines. Especially if some of the tasks depend on other people (like your kids who need to pack their rooms) or need to be done ahead of others.
5. Recruit
Don't be shy about asking friends and family for help. Obviously, you're not going to ask your long lost cousin in the state over to come help you carry boxes, but she might just know where you can find good movers in your area, or has a friend who lives in your new neighbourhood.
Post on social media or even local message boards if you feel you need it. Don't refuse help of any kind, unless you think it'll be more of a burden than of assistance.
6. Stay independent
"Oh yeah! I'll help! Just give me a call and I'll be there!" - Truth or fiction? Who can tell?
Too many of the people who promise to help out will not be able to, or worse - end up getting in your way. Try not to be too dependant in your move. Have contingency plans and don't be shy about giving people tasks and roles if it helps them be of more assistance.
7. Manage your help
Those friends and family who do come to your help need to be managed. Don't be afraid to tell them what to do or how to help. They are there for you, so get a little bossy.
Give them tasks and request things you think they are capable of helping with but also ask what they can offer. They might be a source of help you didn't expect. For example, I discovered my mom had several electrical appliances to give, and had contacts to get us a nice discount on new appliances. Who knew? I sure didn't.
8. Keep what you need safe
Things you'll have a hard time surviving without like your laptop, your (birth control or other type of) pills and jewelry should be in a safe place when you move. Store them in a safe at the nearest bank. Have a trustworthy family member hang on to them. Just don't try to keep track of where they are during the move. It'll distract you too much.
WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF?!?!?!
9. Plan a hideout
It sounds weird, but sometimes spending the first night in your new flat surrounded by boxes and strange empty walls can be stressful as hell. If by the end of the day you feel like you're about to crash emotionally, you should have a getaway place listed in your plan so you can sleep well after a long day.
You can spend the night by friends or family or even a hotel room with breakfast in bed. Odds are you'll wake up a lot more refreshed and capable of tackling the unboxing of your life in your new space.
10. Throw away depressing things
Moving is a chance for cleansing. Getting rid of old clutter purifies the soul and makes room for new awesome things and experiences. But that's pretty obvious. The challenge comes when you're faced with things that are useful in practice, but carry an emotional weight you really should haul with you.
Items that bring on bad memories need to go, even if it means investing in a new bed or a new washing machine. You'll feel better, and that's worth more than whatever it is you've been keeping with negative emotional residue. And now you have not one but TWO chances to throw out those bad memories - when you pack and when you unpack. Better do it when you pack, though. Less junk to move. Trust me.
Just a bit of the crap my family got rid of when moving last.
11. Look forward
If you feel like you falling into a pit of worry or experiencing the dawn of a panic attack, try to think about your plans for the new place. How you want to design it, what new things you want to add or change. Keep it positive and if you feel like this daydreaming is turning into a tasklist - refer to tip #3. Or Pinterest.
12. Stay focused
The time around a relocation is a stressful one. For those of us who already suffer from anxiety, PBD or PTSD, it's even harder as we need to manage our well-being and emotions while overseeing a logistic nightmare.
But the good news is that it's a period of time. It's finite. It starts and end. And when it does, you'll be in your new home, where you can start fresh, and create a place to be the setting for some of your best memories to come.
Those are my tips. Got your own? Feel free to list them in the comments!