Dog People VS Cat People - Which Team Are You On?
Since before the dawn of civilization people have debated over which pets make the best companions, and over time cats and dogs have emerged as the prime candidates after narrowly beating out tapeworms and rocks in the semi finals. Which animal do you prefer: our canine companion or our feline friend? And what does your choice say about you other than that you probably don't fancy the idea of walking your pet rock on a leash made of a tapeworm?
Cats usually have the edge in staring contests
A study conducted by the University of California, Berkeley, which took a sample comprised of 38% dog people and 19% cat people, found that 38% of people were dog people and 19% were cat people. The rest either liked both cats and dogs, neither, or were too angry about the prospect of a political conservative guest giving a speech on school grounds to concentrate on the survey. Research in this area also found correlations between the type of animal you prefer and certain personality traits. So let's plunge into one of the remaining areas where the political correct police haven't yet prevented us from making unfounded and ignorant generalizations.
Full disclosure: I am owned by a cat and don't have a dog, although I've heard of them, read about them and even know someone who's seen one.
Dog People
Dogs are fiercely loyal and sociable creatures who will always put your interest first as long as your interests are to take it for a walk. They are also extremely intelligent and, with training, can learn to perform complex tasks such as not shitting on the carpet, not humping your leg and deriving equations in quantum field theory.
Dog people were found to be 15% more extroverted, 13% more agreeable and 72% more susceptible to made up statistics. Like their pets, they are far more outgoing and sociable than their cat loving counterparts. Similarly, they have a higher tendency to drag their asses across the floor instead of bothering to use toilet paper.
Hmm isn't he the asshole who laughs at you when you miss in Duck Hunt?
The study also indicated that dog lovers are generally more rule abiding, disciplined and conservative in their thinking. This is probably why my ex didn't find it all that funny when, as a joke, I swapped out her rape whistle for a dog whistle. Finally, dog people are more likely to be allergic to cats. This is not insightful, but has the benefit of being true.
Although I'm a cat person myself, I've always fancied getting a Labrador - because I'll just have to put on a pair of sunglasses before taking it for a walk to avoid needing to pick up its shit.
Cat People
So why do people like me choose to have cats other than for the benefit of using the litter box when the toilet breaks down? Well, unlike dogs or humans, cats provide affection; we find it hard to resist the gentle purring and nuzzling of our feline companions and cherish those 0.2% of the time when they're not completely ignoring us.
What do you mean this isn't called kitty style?
The research found that we cat people were generally more neurotic and less agreeable than dog people. I beg to differ! And much like our preferred pets, we were far less sociable and more anxious. I must admit my cat and I do tend to fight for our favorite hiding spot every time we hear a knock on the door.
Cat lovers also score a little higher on intelligence tests than their canine supporting opposition. And all this time I'd mistakenly believed that people use to sit next to me in maths tests because I was Asian.
They also discovered that cat people were more likely to be single. Great work researchers. Now that you've covered all the important stuff, how about going after that cure for cancer? :p
That's me. Not the one on the right, the other one
So how about you? Are you a cat person or a dog person? It'll be interesting to know even if it's just to see which group is more likely to get suckered into meaningless online discussions.
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