*I shared this story when I was brand new on SteemIt, and I would like to share it again now that I have some followers. I wrote this 3 years ago, after providing end of life care for my Mother-in-Law. The story has a few grammar and punctuation issues, but I have been afraid of editing it, for fear of losing touch with how I was feeling at the time.
Belle
I spent the last 7 weeks of my life providing "end-of-life" care for my Mother-in-Law as she slowly and painfully died from cancer. It was a life lesson for me as well as others in my family. My Mother-in-Law, let's call her "Belle', had tumors which had started inside her body and had eaten through to the skin. She needed constant care and attention.
When I first got there she still was very aware of the situation and where it was headed. She still had her normal cheerful personality. Her wounds were painful and required daily bandage changes and attention. My life changed from sleeping in my own comfortable house, to sleeping on a hard couch just outside of her bedroom, listening to her breathing and hoping she didn't attempt to get out of bed in the middle of the night. As over time she would forget that her legs would no longer hold her up and attempt to walk to the bathroom. This usually resulted in a fall or hard sit down. So, I had to pay 24 hour attention.
My partner in this situation was her 20-year partner "Rick". He was able to help emotionally, with medications, food, errands etc., and I couldn't have done it without him. He couldn't bring himself to change bandages etc. On weekends my husband and his brother came to town and assisted with keeping "Belle" in good spirits and providing loving support of the household. My children, her grand-children were also frequent visitors. As well as Belle and Rick's long-term friends. Even my Mom and Step-Dad would stop by to see if we needed anything. I was 6 hours from home with no car, but an army of people would have helped with anything we needed.
We knew her cancer was terminal when I got there to help - and figured we were down to a couple of weeks of care which Rick needed help with. However, I fed her little bites whenever I could get her to eat and cleaned those wounds like I could heal them, and even had visions of a miracle cure.
We had late night conversations of living and dying, success and failures, and the things in your life you are proud of and the things you regret. We laughed, cried and prayed. She went through a bit of a rebound, and actually started getting stronger for a bit. We didn't go skydiving or rocky mt. climbing, but we made it to the beauty shop for a new hair cut. We went to a few friends houses. We fed deer and wild turkeys some corn and enjoyed watching and counting them.
Family members and friends were nearly daily visitors. Despite getting stronger each day, she slowly lost parts of her life, her ability to be home alone, being able to get outside, Getting out of bed by herself, losing touch with reality at times, and always increasing tumors and medications. Hospice came twice a week and reassured me that I was doing the best I could, and provided medication, advice and support. (Hospice is staffed by angels) .
During this difficult time, I was sometimes tempted to focus on losing this loved, special mother-in-law and being saddened and feeling like it was a tragedy. Somewhere in the process I decided my job was to help someone I loved "go out" with the highest level of comfort, dignity and happiness as possible and my goals besides physical care became to make each day just a little better. I enjoyed anytime I could make her smile or laugh.... I would try to cook something she could enjoy. Remind her of a good time we had. Or discuss a person I knew she loved and liked. My whole mission changed to helping someone leave this life, despite a terrible cancer, in the most comfortable, happy and dignified way possible.In the end, she lost touch with reality, was unable to eat or swallow water and her wounds got inflamed. However, she passed peacefully in her sleep surrounded by those who loved her the most. I wish she could send me note saying she got to the next place okay. But I will never forget this experience.
