Several years ago I was in a dark space: depressed, negative and generally frustrated with my life. I had worked in the same job for a non profit conservation organization for 12 years and, whilst the work had once been fun and fulfilling, it had become overwhelming and negative. Caring for the planet can be very devastating to the psyche when you are constantly bombarded with bad news about declining species and ongoing environmental tragedies.
On top of all that there were increasingly challenging internal organizational politics to endure. I think some people might have the impression that working for non-profits (especially in the conservation sector) is all full of roses and sunshine since you are working to improve the state of the world, but in reality it is filled with cut-throat internal and external politics. Some individuals have huge egos when it comes to "saving the earth" and getting in the way of those egos can lead to some unpleasant conflicts.
Anyway, I had become increasingly disillusioned with work. My professional life wasn't looking so great and my personal life was in tatters as the man I had fallen deeply in love with flew off to start life in another country without me.
It sucked. Big time.
I was deeply unhappy and I decided to make some radical changes in my life. Here are the 7 things I quit that really helped me to become a much happier person.
1. I QUIT MY JOB
What! Okay that was a bit radical and I'm not recommending everyone do this. However, it was what I needed to do at the time. It gave me freedom to totally reinvent myself and find out what I needed to do in order to get out of the black hole of depression I was in.
2. I QUIT WATCHING/READING/LISTENING TO THE NEWS
A bunch of my friends really criticized this move, "You have to stay informed!" they shouted at me in exasperation. The reality though is that these days with social media it is really difficult not to have a basic grasp of the key headlines making news at any given time. However, an obsession with watching every CNN news report or reading every newspaper online only makes you even more depressed. It is the nature of humans to want to find out the bad news...but knowing everything that is going on isn't going to change the world or make you happy.
3. I QUIT CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME
For much of my life I experienced huge stress and anxiety worrying about what others thought of me. If I thought one of my colleagues misunderstood me I'd spend huge amounts of time trying to convince them about my way of thinking and then become very distressed when that didn't work. Ultimately, I have realized that everyone is floating around in their own perception of the world, and what they do or don't think about me is all about them (their worries, concerns, paradigms), not me.
4. I QUIT NEEDING TO BE RIGHT
I once heard Dr Phil say to an estranged husband on TV, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?". It made an impact on me but it took me years to learn how true it is. I spent so much time fighting with people to make them understand that I was right. It made them and me unhappy. Sometimes, you've just got to let things go.
5. I QUIT TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED
Everyday we are quick to complain about things going wrong, but we fail to appreciate all the wonderful things in our life that are going right. I made a huge effort to start appreciating little things. I love nature and had spent years in an office battling with reports and donors in an attempt to save nature. Now that I had quit my job, I had the time to take long walks in nature and really appreciate what is out there, instead of constantly mourning what is lost. It changed my paradigm completely - appreciate everything you have.
6. I QUIT TRYING TO CONTROL THINGS I COULDN'T
I realized that there are so many things out of my control, it is pointless to stress and worry about them.
7. I QUIT WAITING FOR ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE ME HAPPY
Even though I had always thought of myself as an independent woman, somewhere lurking in the back of my mind was the "knight in shining armor" coming to rescue me. Having spent my twenties and thirties trying to find Prince Charming and ending up with a load of frogs, I finally gave up on waiting for "THE ONE!".
I realized that I had to make myself happy. I was the only one responsible and there was no rich and handsome man just waiting to sweep me off my feet. It was up to me.
So, Instead of going on more dates, I went to the local animal welfare shelter and got myself a dog. She has been the absolute love of my life and has brought me so much joy. She really is happiness personified. Here's a picture of her.
I hope this post has helped you to think about some of the things you could quit in order to become happier. Thank you for reading...may joy and happiness follow you.