People like to stereotype, put labels on others based on how they look or their background. When those labels don't match with how those persons behave we tend to find that behaviour "odd" or "strange".
When we grow up especially in our teens we all have the desire to "fit in". We want to be part of a group and change our behavior accordingly. We fear that if we act different then maybe we lose the connection with our peers and end up outside the circle of friends.
But what if changing our behavior clashes with who you really are? Should you pretend not to like a certain singer or music just because it is not regarded as cool?
When I grew up (I was around 17) I met this guy named Miguel, I knew him from around the way and we often hang out with kids of our own age. This was a time when everybody was deep into Hip-Hop music and R&B. Now Miguel was kind of an odd duck in that respect because he liked Elvis. He even dressed like he just came out of a 50's retro video clip.
To make things even worse Miguel was Indonesian which is not what you normally associate with Elvis fandom.
Of course (kids being kids) Elvis was made fun of a lot because you know.. Hip-Hop is cool and Elvis is not. However Miguel never changed, he stayed who he was, dressed the way he liked and never buckled under the peer pressure.
I never forgot about Miguel, more than that I really admired the guy. He stood for what he believed in, was never afraid or embarrassed to let people know what he liked, how unpopular or uncool that might be.
He was an Elvis fan and the rest of us just had to deal with it.
The teasing stopped and Miguel was accepted by the group for what he was. He hang out with us and went to the same places we did, he was one of us although he dressed and looked totally different.
At the time I did not understand the lesson I should have learned from Miguel. It was not until later when I was watching a movie that it clicked.
The movie was House Party 3, now it might sound strange to learn something from importance from a movie but....hey, that's what happened.
In the movie the actor Bernie Mac (brilliant comedian) plays the role of Uncle Vester (no, not that guy from the Addams Family) and there is one scene where he sits down with his nephew and gives him a lesson about life. The nephew was having trouble getting the parents of the girl he was dating to like him because he was not up to their standards.
Uncle Vester sat him down and said the following:
Boy, just be yourself. If people don't like you for being yourself... FUCK 'EM!
It hit me that like Miguel I liked things that were uncool (at the time), things that gave me joy but too embarrassed to share with my friend.
Like all kids I just wanted to fit in and hid my "guilty pleasures" just to look cool for my friends.
Yes I like Rap music and R&B but I also love classic Rock music, I can't play basketball to save my life although everyone just assumes I must be good at it because of my height and skin color. Truth is that I am a nerd, I love gaming, anime, comic books, sci-fi and fantasy, I read all of the Games of Thrones novels and loved every one of them.
I stopped apologizing for the things I love a long time ago, and you know what? I am much happier now then I was back then.
So just be yourself and if people don't like you for being yourself......
Well, just watch the clip...
Read more about: Peer pressure | Bernie Mac |
