How perfect that today's prompt is "Discord" because wow, there was a lot of 'discord' on the topic of marriage (and several other topics between the 'engagement' and the actual wedding.
I'm using this week to tell the story of our early relationship/engagement/marriage to celebrate our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We have NO photos of us together during our dating months or the first couple of years of marriage. These are the closest photos I can find that are from just before we ended up together:
There was, of course plenty of lovey dovey stuff, too... but let me back up. I suppose I should start with the actual engagement, which kind of set the tone for our "fights" going forward.
We had just been to see a late showing of the movie with Jack Nicholson and I think he's a werewolf. Hell, maybe the movie was titled, "Werewolf" I can't even remember. The point is that the movie was awful. Just a complete and utter waste of energy, time and attention.
As we walked back to our car in the parking lot, I said something flippant like, "Well that was a total waste of time. If we're going to spend time and money doing something, we should do something cool... like elope!"
I was only half joking, but then Patrick said, "No, I'm not getting married until I am 35. MAYBE thirty."
That brought me to a halt. "Wait, seriously? You think we're waiting that long to get married?"
"Yeah. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, but I want to wait until I'm financially secure before I get married."
"Um... I'm not waiting seven years to get married. I want to have more kids."
"Oh," he says, "I don't want to have kids until I'm at least 35."
Now, we're the same age, so now he's telling me that he expects me to wait until I'm 35 to even start having more kids? Ummm... no. That's not going to work at all. "I already HAVE one kid. I'm not going to wait until she's almost 9 to have my second child. Plus, I want to have six kids and there is no way I can have five kids if I don't start until I'm 35!"
Well... that went well. I mean, we weren't even really fighting or even arguing. Yeah, there was some discord, but in reality we had only joked about the topic or talked about it in vague terms at that point.
The conversation carried on all the way to the car, and for a while at the car. In the end, Patrick was stubbronly saying, "No, I'm not getting married until I'm 30 and I only want one kid."
I was like, "Well that sucks that we can't be together, because I want more kids sooner than later" (and we all know that women have a time limit moreso than men in the baby making department, anyway!) " and I'm not waiting until I"m 30 to get married..."
So, but the time we got back to our apartment, we'd decided to get our marriage license the next day before work. Whatever money we made over the weekend would go towards paying for the costs to elope and a wedding ring...
And that was that.
The next day we got our marriage license.
The NEXT next day:
Patrick: Byn Leffel. That's going to sound strange.
Me: What? I'm not changing my name. I like my name. I ALREADY changed my name once. I'm done. Besides, you don't even speak to your parents unless I make you. Why should I take your parents name?
Patrick: Well, that might be a sticking point for me. I don't know why, but that's how it is.
Me: Okay, well. I like my name and I don't care for yours... speaking of which, have you even told your parents that we're getting married?
Patrick: Ummm, I'll call her tomorrow. I still think you have to change your name. We should have the same last name if we're going to be married.
Me: That's fine with me, you can take my name.
Patrick: Hmmm... that might just work.
And this is one of the earliest photos that I can find from AFTER we got married (and we already had three kids):
(Next up: The Actual Wedding Day... like a comedy of errors.)
And making up for so few photos of our early days, here is my selfie for today's @freewritehouse contest:
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
