'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'
(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)
Welcome to the Eighth day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉
DAY 8 The divorce
My husband was not so happy with the whole situation. He wanted me back and was willing to do everything that was necessary (in his eyes) to succeed.
He had no idea where we were so he went to my parents house several times. He broke my parents car. He attacked and hit my dad, and he attacked even my mother. 😢 He broke into my brothers house to take a look in the telephone if there would be numbers that could lead to us. He even went to my grandma to ask her about where I was!
I was so scared for them and felt so guilty I brought him into my family 😡
The following days I recieved dozens of phonecalls a day from him: 'Honey, please tell me where you are'
10 minutes later: 'Honey, you need to tell me where you are!'
30 minutes later: 'Honey, I'm driving to your mothers work right now and I'm gonna hurt her if you don't tell me where you are!!' 😨
Nobody besides my mom and dad knew where we were.. I didn't tell anybody for our safety, and for their own safety.. My classmates, our neighbours, my friends, my family, even my own brothers, nobody knew..
I couldn't involve anybody. I had to do it by myself with help from my parents.
I'd been in touch with CPS and other organisations that helped women, but nobody could help me. Why not?
I couldn't get help in the town where I lived, because I was still registered in my home town..
I couldn't get help from my hometown because I lived in another town..
They told me it would be easier to get me help if I'd live in a shelter..
Easier..
Great system..
Settling things wasn't easy. I had to make a lot of calls to arrange all kind of things and I had to make sure that every company knew that they had to keep my information confidential.
I was lucky I could get social benefits. I told the lady I really wanted to continue college, but she said it would probably be a good idea to take some time to settle and to take care of myself and the kids. I hated it, but she was right.
In a way it was a blessing. I could spent a lot of time with my cuties. I had time to sort things out for myself. Besides that I needed time go to the policestation to have conversations with my husband, to go to appointments with CPS to talk about the kids, and I needed A LOT OF TIME to answer the many phonecalls and messages I kept getting from my husband. Everytime I heard my ringtone I felt nauseous, and after every call I was exhausted..
Some weeks went by. My husband went to a place to get treatment for his addiction. In the meanwhile he kept calling me several times a day.
Everybody told me to divorce him. Our marriage was broken. I should never go back to him.
But I wasn't sure..
I promised this man to be faithful to him and to support him through the good times, but through the bad times as well.. These were the bad times. Was it fair to leave him now at this low point?
Of course, he did things to me that weren't acceptable, but was it bad enough to break my promise? Was our marriage really broken? I travelled to the treatmentcenter several times to talk with him and the therapists, and took the girls with me so he could see them. I felt sorry for him he had to miss the girls so much.
I hoped he'd work hard and that we could get back together eventually. But how long would it take? It was hard to keep my hope up.. Their was A LOT that needed to change. I asked God, how long do I have to wait for him, raising this two girls on my own??
It could take YEARS! I wanted to move on, but I could do nothing but wait.. I had to keep my promise.
Then I got this phonecall from him in the middle of the night. He just said 'Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I've been with another woman'. The only thing I could say was 'Thank you'. Then he hang up the phone.
The following moment I jumped in the air and shouted 'WHAT?! That means I'm free... I'M FREE!!!' I've said to myself my whole life , 'If someone ever cheats on me, that's it, I'm gone.'
This was IT! My FREE TICKET! Thank GOD! 😤
I went to my lawyer that week, asking her to arrange a divorce. She did. A couple of months after I left my husband, dozens of conversations with several mediators, several visits to the courthouse, and thousands of phonecalls later we got divorced.
I was finally FREE to live my life as I wanted to!
Or wasn't I?.....
I'll tell you about it tomorrow!
Stay tuned!
-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-
