Inspired by the lore of the Masters of the Universe stories hitting Steemit lately..a new hero is born.
Donny Bloghard was having a deep-fried chicken fueled nightmare about fighting battle cat and saving chooxena, who was now She-ra, from Skeletors bone.
He woke up sweaty, pushed all the empty Big Gulp cups and scattered potato chip bags out of the way and arose to his feet. He was getting ready to go find the portal he's been hearing about and transform to a new land..but first he had to get dressed.
He pulled his favorite jean shorts on overtop of his stretched to maximum capacity speedos.
Then he looked around to find his footwear. He located one Croc but couldn't find the other. Time was running out so he left the house with only the one.
He knew the portal had to be located near chooxenas residence as he heard she had already found it. He was off to Panama..headed to the airport he stopped at McDonald's and ordered one of everything on the menu.
Donny got to the airport check-in counter and purchased two seats. This was the policy at Air Canada because his fatass took up alot of room.
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When the plane touched down he took out his notepad he used to write down all the tidbits of information he's learned about chooxena since he's been stalking her on Discord. He knew where she lived and also remebered she'd been taking pictures of alley cats and roosters so he surmised the portal had to be near there.
Donny waddled thru the streets of Panama City sweating profusely. He fought off a couple heart attacks and kept searching. Every alley looked the same, how was he going to find it?
About to give up and go get his second lunch just then he saw a stray cat that looked alot like the one from choogirls last pic. He walked up to the cat and knelt down to pat it. Just then he heard a rooster cock and looked up to see the alleyway from the photo..this was it. Donny reached into his pocket and popped a few Maltesers into his mouth for fuel then headed down the dimly lit alley.
The alley was long and smelled of feces and urine, it reminded him of his apartment. The buildings that formed the alleyway all had big steel doors that were locked. Donny was more of an expert nose picker than locksmith so he wasn't sure how he'd search the warehouses for the location of the portal?
Just then a cat jumped out and startled him, a little poop came out of his rectum from the fright and he fell back. Dazed Donny waited for his eyes to refocus and he saw a doorway with wooden crates blocking the entrance, maybe this was a sign and the portal was inside?!
He pushed back the makeshift wooden door and it revealed a large open room but it was pitch black. Donny crept around the room until he felt a railing and followed it up the stairs up. There were lights flickering and he knew he found what he was looking for..this was the portal!
As he got closer to the top of the stairs the lights grew brighter. This had to be it! Donny remembered watching countless hours of cartoons when he was a kid.. before he got diabetes. This was definately a portal he just hoped it was the right one? It had to be tho.
Determined to save chooxena, who was now She-ra and take her back to his love lair he walked toward the portal unfazed. As he got closer he realized the dimensions of the portal would make it hard for him to get his fat ass inside it. Always a cunning s.o.b Donny reached into his backpack and grabbed a pound of butter.
He took off his clothes and begin smearing the fat over his body. Confident he was lubed up enuff Donny ran toward the portal and lept up into the air..
He hit the portal and slipped inside
Donny was dazed and spinning round like a rotisserie chicken, the thought made him hungry. Lights were flashing and there was a deffening vibration sound. Thinking he was just about to lose conciusness he hit the ground in a densely treed forest area.
Overcome with confusion and hunger he arose to his feet and shook his head. He was looking at down at his feet..his Croc had been replaced with a chicken foot!
He scanned his legs and felt his body that was now covered with dark brown feathers.
He spoke out loud to himself.."I say I say I'm a chicken! He wasn't a chicken tho he was infact a
leghorn rooster!
Credit: theotherview.com
This was getting weird and now he was even more overcome with hunger!
Stay tuned for the next chapter to see if Foghorn Don eats himself or saves She-ra from Skeltors boney clutches!?!
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