...But Should Probably Not Still Be Open For Discussion!!
"Only 273 Shopping Days Left Until Christmas".
-And 274 days until this nonsense starts all over again.
The Post-Holiday Christmas Tree-Toss
If someone ever got bored and created a dichotomous key for bicyclists, I would probably key out as a semi-avid biker. Not a professional, but I often use my classic bike to ride all over town; commuting, errand-ing, and in general, riding all over the fair city in which I am happily ensconced.
One of the grand perks of being a biker is that I get to see many 'things' in highly-noticeable, slower motion view... that often whiz by the windows of the average 45 mph, four-wheeled conveyance. Events and objects that remain completely ignored or missed by the high-speed, oblivious drivers within.
And what 'things' have I been noticing in exceedingly large number lately, as I bike my main route across town? Christmas Trees. Oodles and oodles of Christmas trees. In the month of March!!!!
Old, used up and discarded symbols of the Joyous Holiday Spirit, either left by the side of the road or in other creatively odd spaces of illegal tree abandonment. "Call me baffled or call me bamboozled, just don't call me late for lunch." And calling this whole new discovery ridiculous is not giving it enough credit. The more I see, the more I look, the more I see.
I've never given much thought to this whole post-Holiday, tree discardia thing until now. And please note; this is not a well-designed, city-wide scientific experiment I've set up, meticulously analyzed on a 20 meter-square grid pattern. This observation is anecdotal at best. Yet this discovery is still a bit alarming. When scaled up, this whole thing suggests: Enormous. My recent discovery was made riding only ONE, two-pronged route across the cityscape.
Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, and all the trappings and strapping's that go along with this wonderful Holiday. The music, the lights, the gifts, the TREE! That glorious, sweet-smelling 'voluntary' member-of-the-woods we drag home each December, stand up in our living room or other rumpus area of the house, and decorate for all the wandering-by public to view through our 'picture' window out front.
And after the Holidays are over? These previously happy, now dried and spent youth-of-the-manicured-forest seem to be popping up more-than-often during my bike rides. No doubt pulled from the living room Christmas tree stand, then 'placed' back into the natural environs all about the city.
Once my cranio-visufactors keyed into the variety of colors and shapes of the standard, dilapidated yule tree, these things REALLY began to noticeably pop up on my radar at an alarming rate. Much like little Wyoming gophers through a shimmery mirage of haze on a hot, sunny afternoon. They seem to be EVERYWHERE! I've discovered discarded Christmas trees in all sorts of odd locations throughout this very small sample of the city. In the month of March!!!
Since these abandoned trees are almost always by a major road, I'm guessing this is some sort of late-night, drive-by method of disposal. Zoom along in a nonchalant manner, stress-fully scanning the rear-view mirror, slam on the brakes, jump out, heave the dead thing as far as you can, then drive away like the proverbial, damnably displaced bat. All the while trying to stay one step ahead of the law.
Good Grief 'n Gravy, people!! It's almost time for Easter. And that holiday is running later than usual this year. So what does THAT say about all this tree-tossing nonsense?!!
The Froggy Pond of Old
Someone actually had the audacity to heave this tree out near the "NO DUMPING" sign. There's often quite a bit of traffic on this road. Must have been 'placed' very late at night, at a rapid rate of speed with minimum turnaround time.
Right Out Front Of The House
A nice tree that showed up one night near my house. It was still in pretty good shape, hence this tree 'volunteered' for my first picture above. A rah-rah good choice on my part, as it stayed together pretty well when tossed in the air over and over again into 'full flight' for the tripod-mounted camera.
Jefferson Street
This is a ginormous-ly fat Christmas tree. Dumped right out in front of some unsuspecting person's house. Not sure HOW they got this fat tree from home to here. Had to have been in the back of a pickup truck or trailer. Surely it was not dumped by some Scofflaw in a Subaru.
Fence Along The Bike Path
There WAS a tree stuffed against the fence on my first bike-trip on by, but I didn't have the camera. The next time I passed with camera in-hand, someone had very kindly taken the tree away. I'm hoping they're thrifty Holiday-ers, saving it for the living room stand next Christmas. (Note: This is not an official Law Officer sketch.)
Riverside Avenue
This tree was abandoned by the side of a very busy road. Must have been another one of those quick, stop and toss-in-the-middle-of-the-night jobs.
NOTE: A week or so later, someone got really mad at this tree for blocking the sidewalk or some other fir-based transgression of progress, and threw it up onto the homeowners yard to the left. So I'm quite sure the tree did not originate from this house.
Chalmbers Street
One of several along this avenue. Must be a favorite roadside disposal haunt of the local derelict tree-tossers. At least they had the decency to not block the mailman's progress. This tree is also rather rotund. So again, probably hauled here in a truck or trailer. Or a car with a badly abused interior.
Chalmbers Street - No. 2
Right down the street from the previous exhibit. Someone put a bit more effort into this tree. Quietly abandoned by a wooden fence, clandestinely tucked away behind some brush and other yard 'stuff' someone ELSE tossed out at an earlier time. Very sneaky!!
Along The Expressway
A TRUE drive-by. This is next to an exit ramp on the busy highway. No way to stop here to toss your tree. This must have been well thought out. Having someone in the back of the pickup to perform a mobile heave. There is a fence and only a bike lane behind the cameraman, so we KNOW no one tossed it over from that side. (You have to be pretty sharp to pull one over on THIS author!!!)
Along The Expressway - "Proof Of Fence"
Proof I know my stuff in figuring out where these things come from (in previous exhibit)...
Chalmbers Street - No. 3 -- Incredibly Artistic Night Shot
Potential Award Winning night photograph with accompanying flash. A tree along the bike path on a busy part of the road. Once again, a rapid drive and heave, as there is no place to stop and do the necessary 'work'.
By My House, Revisited. -- "Time to Do Some incredible Sleuthing"
The tree by my house once more. Re-placed next to the tire tracks of the 'scofflaw tosser' by yours truly. Now pondering a bucket, drywall trowel and some plaster, and creating solid molds of the tire tracks like they do on the TV. Hoping local law enforcement folks might be interested in helping me find the culprit. Love to shove the tree up somewhere, or in THEIR yard some night. (I'd probably get a $200 fine -- Illegal Dumping of Old Christmas Trees.)
Since this is all occurring around the main part of the 'inner' city, it really begs the question: "How many trees are piled up out on the older, less-traveled roadways of our rural County right now? I think a Google-Map Research Project is in full order here.
Stay Tuned. Believe it or not, there's MORE!!!
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