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This is the next instalment in my NaNoWriMo challenge: chapters three and four from my novel My Sister's Keeper.
CHAPTER THREE
There was a loud explosion in the distance. It temporarily startled Ruby.
“It's okay Ruby,” Emerald reassured her. “That was long way off.”
Ruby knew it wasn't close, not compared to some had been. It may have been ten blocks away. Some bombs had landed only three blocks away, but not for a long time. Ruby had hoped that the fighters had taken their war some place else. Is that how it worked, she wondered. Do they move from place to place? What's here that they want, anyway. Everything is destroyed.
“I know,” she replied. “They always make me jump.”
“Try to go back to sleep. You'll be okay, I promise.” More promises Ruby thought. She hoped her sister was right.
The minutes ticked by into hours. Ruby's sleep had been broken and she found it difficult to reclaim it. She lay there thinking. About the war, about the camps. About Mars. About her mother and sister.
And then another explosion hit, and this one was much closer. It rattled their building. Concrete dust fell off the ceiling, showering Ruby's face. She coughed, having breathed it in. “Emma,” she cried out. “Did you hear that one?” Her voice was shaky from fear, and raspy from the dust.
“Yes,” her sister replied. “I did. That was very close. Not like the others.”
Ruby ran into her mothers room. “Momma!” Ruby screamed out, unable to move. She was still standing frozen to the same spot when Emerald came in.
“What's wrong?” She asked as she ran in. But she didn't need an answer to her question. She could see for herself. Laid out in front of them was their mother's body, lying still on her bed. Dust had been dislodged from their own bedroom ceiling. But that was not the case in here, where they now stood. A large slab of concrete had fallen, exposing the room above. No one had lived in that apartment. No one could now, not after this. Emerald ran over to the far side of her mother's bed and tried in vain to lift the slab.
“Ruby help me, please,” Emerald pleaded to Ruby, snapping her out of her shock. She joined her sister in trying to dislodge the large piece of concrete that had trapped their mother's body. “Momma, can you hear me? Momma.” Ruby tried desperately to get a response. Her mother, laying very still, let out a small cough.
“Emma,” she whispered, barely audible. “Promise me this – protect your sister. She's all alone now.”
I'm not all alone, Ruby thought. Not yet. I still have Emerald. I still have you. Her mother fell silent. The two sisters looked at each other, fear pouring from their eyes.
“Momma,” they both screamed. “Don't leave us.” They tried with all their might to budge the concrete, to make it move from on top of their mother's body. But it made no difference. Ruby gave it everything she had. Her muscles ached. She collapsed on the side of the bed and cried. She wanted to be strong but it wasn't possible. She cried and cried. All the tears that she had held back, all the fear she had suppressed, all the uncertainty about the future poured out, like a tap that had no way to turn off. Emerald sat down beside her, and silently put her arm around her. Emerald sat holding her sister Ruby for what felt like an eternity. She wasn't going to let Ruby go, not whilst the tears still flowed. The war had taken their father away from them early on. Now it had also taken their mother. Things would never be the same again. How could they be?
CHAPTER FOUR
Whilst Ruby sat motionless against her mother's bed Emerald had gathered some supplies for them, and packed a small bag of clothes. They didn't have much, and she knew they wouldn't be able to take much with them. But they could no longer stay here. The bombs had finally reached their neighbourhood, after threatening for months to pay them a visit. They had all hoped that it wouldn't happen. That an end to the fighting would occur before then. It wasn't to be. And now their mother was dead, trapped under a slab of concrete where she lay on her bed. Ruby and Emerald truly were alone.
Emerald walked over to her sister and leant down to hold her hand. “We have to go, Ruby. We should go see Anastasia, she may be able to help us.” Ruby's eyes opened wide at the sound of Anastasia's name. She finally showed signs of life returning to her features. She looked at Emerald, and attempted a half smile.
“Yes, Anastasia will know what to do,” she said. Ruby stood up, aided by her sister's hand. She gingerly took a few steps away from the bed, towards the living room, where Emerald had their possessions. Her legs were like jelly, and her mind was unable to focus on anything. Thank God for Emma, she thought. How is she holding it together?
Preparing to leave their apartment for the final time, Ruby turned and took one more look at where her mother lay. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Would this be her last memory of her mother? Laying there, her body crushed by the weight of what once was her ceiling. Is this life? One cruel act of betrayal after another. She had no energy to fight her own thoughts. Sensing her sister's confusions, Emerald handed her a photo, one of the few they still had. It showed their mother and father together, before the war. Ruby looked at the photograph, she studied it. This is all we have now, she thought. Emma, me, and this photo. She looked at Emerald, but no words formed in her mouth, no words emerged. She wanted to say thank you. Emerald gave her a smile. Not one of those big, happy moment smiles, but one that said “I understand”. Emerald had always understood Ruby; their thoughts being so aligned it scared people. Twins can be like that.
At street level Ruby saw the destruction. It was noticeably worse than yesterday, when she made the trip to the supply centre. There was now a large crater in the centre of the street, not too far from their apartment building. Only a block away, in the opposite direction, she could see a building had partially collapsed. Perhaps many more had internal damage, like her one. An air of death and misery hung around. She knew they were not the only ones to lose someone. Perhaps there would be no one left here after this. Emerald held Ruby's hand and lead the way, towards the supply centre – towards Anastasia.
Ruby had walked this path many times. She knew it very well. But she was glad that Emerald was leading the way. She had no energy, no drive. If it were up to her she would sit where she was, and probably find herself unable to get back up – unable to find the motivation to press on. Emerald was her strength and always had been.
“We're almost there now,” Emerald told Ruby, offering her reassurance to help motivate her to keep moving. Ruby looked around. She knew it would be the last time she would see this place. She wouldn't really miss it, but neither did she feel a desire to turn her back on it all. This was her home; it had been her home. But it had cost Ruby everything she had. They had to leave before it took the one last treasured part of her life – Emerald.
But she feared the future. And it had finally caught up with her. It had finally come knocking at her door, announcing its arrival. They had all hoped and prayed that the future would look so different. Like the past once had. That it would bring back the colour, the life, the rays of sunshine. That they could play again in the streets with all the other children. Ruby could still remember those days. The only people playing in the streets now were the soldiers, painting everything grey. Blotting out the sun with the billowing clouds of destruction. The world once made sense to Ruby. It made her smile to be able to walk with her mother, to visit friends, to know her father was by her side. Nothing made sense any more.
They reached the supply centre. “I'll look for Anastasia,” Ruby told Emerald, as she walked inside. She looked around the hall that had been turned into a makeshift supply centre. There were more people here than usual, she noticed. Last night's destruction had been wide spread, it would seem. Ruby noticed Anastasia helping an old woman. Always helping someone, she thought. God has abandoned us, but not Anastasia. Not these people here. I hope she can help. Ruby called her name.
Anastasia looked around, and noticed Ruby. “Is everything okay, Ruby?” She knew of the destruction that had been visited on Ruby's area. Many people had already sought help from the charity.
Ruby looked at Anastasia. She wanted to speak, to tell her what had happened. Instead tears started to roll down her cheeks. Anastasia kneeled down and embraced Ruby. She knew what they had been through, even if she was unaware of the details. She had heard dozens of stories already this morning. Each one broke her heart.
“Momma's dead,” Ruby whispered, unable to say any more. Anastasia held her tighter than before. She knew Ruby would be in a state of shock. The world was no place for a child to be left alone even in the best of times. Certainly not here, in this place, in this war zone. How could God allow these children to be left abandoned she wondered. She felt her own sense of abandonment. God, it seemed, had deserted them all. “I don't know what to do now,” Ruby continued. “How can we get to the camps?”
“You can't,” Anastasia answered. “Not on your own.”
“I'm not on my own,” Ruby told her. “Emma's with me.” Anastasia looked at Ruby with pity. She knew the child, and she loved her, like she was her own. And she knew her story. There was no way for Ruby to make it to the camps on her own. Anastasia would have to make the journey with her. She didn't want to, but Ruby couldn't stay here, not now after all this devastation.
Anastasia thought back to when she first met Ruby. Her mother had brought her to the supply centre. And she knew the first time she laid eyes on the child that she was experiencing severe trauma. Was it the loss of her father? Was it the encroaching war? A child's mind was too fragile to comprehend all of these issues. Even adults fail to adequately deal with them. But they pretend, they create masks, they hide behind their pride and resilience. But children don't, they haven't learnt how to, not at that age. The mind has it's own ways of coping with trauma; it has it's own mechanisms. Ruby was no different. She had her way, and in this place, in this hell hole, no one questioned it. We are all just trying to survive, Anastasia thought. But out there, away from this place, would they understand? If she made it to the camps, would they question Ruby's sanity? Anastasia feared the worse – she knew she had to accompany her.
She continued to hold Ruby, to comfort her. “It's good that you aren't all alone,” she told Ruby. “Emma has protected you and lead you to me. You're lucky to have a sister like her. Especially here.” Anastasia knew the truth, but the truth was too much for Ruby to confront. Not here, not now. Not in this place. But when, she thought. When would be a safe time to help her integrate all of this?
Anastasia gave Ruby a kiss on the cheek, and started to contemplate the journey ahead - the trek she needed to make to the camps, with Ruby, and her phantom twin.
This fiction is my own work, written for Steemit
Image Credit: Unsplash.com
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