WARNING R18. I've put it out there.
Tony Williams Intro
Sun rays filtered through the stained glasses of the St. Paul's church, mild singing of the choir filled the air; the priest and congregation clad in their best apparel, wearing a smile, mostly fake.
It was a day I never thought would come. It was none other than Tony's wedding. I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful bride that made the worst player on earth give a shot at commitment. I crossed my hands, secretly pinching myself to wake from this daydream.
The priest said his lines and gestured the couple to exchange their vows, leave it to Tony to sweet talk his way through it, even the single ladies amongst the congregation were wet in tears and raging in jealousy, that they let this "wonderful" man slip from their grasp. The bride covered her face with her hands as she blushed. She stammered her vows afterwards. The priest carried on.
Tony signaled me to pass the ring to him, I desperately searched my trouser's pocket but remembered he asked for it earlier which I gave him without question. I reminded him and he dipped his hand into his pocket and absentmindedly pulled out something that made the bride and crowd gasp for air, the priest closed his bible and the ladies on the seat smiled and giggled.
Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, Tony pulled out a lady's underwear. The bride slapped him across the face and said three words, "I thought you changed", was that four? Who knew?, counting was the least of my worries. The bridesmaid and the rest of the bridal train trailed her as she ran off, friends and family followed suit after a thorough stare of disappointment. I nodded with all certainty that I'm back to reality, this is the Tony I know.
The wedding ended abruptly, everyone left the church, judging in stares and murmurs as anyone would expect, it was a cliché scene of "sinners judging sinners for sinning differently".
Tony stood at the altar as if regretting his actions, this was new for me actually, he never feels remorse. 10 seconds later, Tony said, "Hey Jamie, can you believe I almost married?", in response and pity, I took the underwear off his hands and dipped it back into his suit pocket. He laughed out loud for a while and headed down the aisle. He said as he opened the church's door to leave, "Guess who's single again?"
Ladies flocked to him under the guise of consoling his wounded heart. We know better. They jumped into his jeep till it got full. He didn't need to say a word.
He sped off to his mansion without looking back. Leaving me, his best friend and best man who still stupidly stood at the altar alone to face the aftermath of the failed wedding. You must be wondering how I got to know this pitiful creature... Well, I'm glad you asked.
Before that, you need to know about his past
Scene 01
"I'm telling you, Tony. Barcelona is way better without Neymer", Kevin argued. "Mhm", Tony replied uninterested. "I guess what I'm saying is-",
"yeah, totally", Tony cut in
"Black is not your color", Kevin tested
"Yup"
He smiled deviously, "you wear a pink dress when no one is looking"
"Totally", Tony replied still staring away. Kevin tapped him, "dude!"
"Hmm? Yeah?", he jerked into reality
"Okay, this is ridiculous. What could possibly distract you from football?"
"Ass?", he shrugged
"Whose? I won't forgive you if-", Tony pointed at a lady getting her drink from the bartender
"Dayummm", he breathed
"My thoughts exactly", Tony chuckled
"She's so perfec-", she turned around, "oh shit. Not her"
"What?"
"She looks familiar, Tony. I can't put my finger on it"
Tony sipped his beer
"Oh! I got it, Instagram"
Kevin looked up some tags and found her picture. "Look", he passed his phone, "she's a feminist that hates ALL men. Sorry buddy"
"Aww, she's adorable", Tony replied
"Dude, focus! She hates ALL men"
"she hasn't met me", Tony returned his phone
Kevin froze up a bit, trying to find a comeback. Tony sipped his beer, stealing glances at the Lady
"Know what? I'll show you something", he scrolled down her page a bit, "there!", he passed his phone,
"she's literally crushing nuts and cutting bananas in that picture. What does that say to you?"
"Umm, that she's allergic to nuts and love fruits?"
Kevin shook his head, "you're a lost cause bro"
"Glad we're on the same page, Kev", he laughed, "I'll be back"
"And I'll be right here praying she kicks you in the balls", he took his beer and browsed Instagram still
Tony walked up to her booth. He couldn't help but admire her a bit before words came off his mouth.
She was about 5.8ft, blonde, blue eyes, slim but thicc in the right places and clearly, used to getting attention.
"Hi, I'm Tony", he said in a lively voice, "you are?"
"Not interested", she sipped her beer without even glancing at the poor bastard
Tony cut in immediately, "wait a second, that is THE authentic Chanel 2.55"
She looked up, "yes?"
"That's a vintage. February 1955, surely more in style than the Chanel classic flap bag"
"Finally, someone gets it!", slipped off her mouth, She cleared her throat and pretended someone else said it
"Tell me, how is it that a strange man could tell... when most ladies can't spot the fakes?"
Tony made eye contact as she anticipated his response, he made her wait for it a bit, "same way I could tell a real woman in a room full of fakes, miss"
The compliment caught her off guard, she searched for a comeback but Tony seized the moment to sit next to her.
Before she could protest or respond, he pointed across the bar, piquing her curiosity, "that lady smiling over there, is unhappy"
She was thrown off again, "y-yes, I know that. How could you tell?"
He pointed at a man getting the next round, "that's her partner"
"Yeah?"
"He can't satisfy her"
"Wh-?"
He turned to her, "Can you tell when a man is bad in bed by just looking at him?"
She felt a bit overwhelmed for a second, then she said, "Actually, yeah. If you look at his body language. I'll say she gets ummm"
He smiled to encourage her being open as she looked at him, still not able to tell why she's still talking to him
"A dusty 20 seconds", she finally said
He cut in as their eyes locked, "speaking of hitting it right. You, me, Dinner, Friday. You in?", he abandoned yet another conversation
her reflex kicked in this time, "fuck off" then she averted her gaze
Tony stood and walked away without saying a word
Before he could go far, she hinted in a low voice, "my name is Diana, jerk"
Tony kept walking like he heard nothing, suppressing his smile.
As he got back to the booth, Kevin welcomed him warmly, "Burnnnn! She didn't even drop her digits! Told you so, dude!"
Tony waved him off, "she's not just any feminist, she's one that many look up to"
"Go on", Kevin said proudly
"I'm a minor celebrity with a ton of hate mail from women over the years"
"Hah... Minor celebrity? Debatable but... Go on", he desperately needed to hear he was right
"A public humiliation video of me would get her campaign over the roof and she knows it"
"Your point?"
"She could've easily made a scene but chose not to"
"Whatever floats your boat, man. What's this about being a 'minor celebrity'?"
"You're joking, right? I hit 2million followers on Instagram 3 years ago. I'm up 7m now"
"What? No way!", Kevin was shocked
"Seriously? My 'best friend' has never been on my Instagram profile?"
"I try, but you know... Models, inbox... stuff...", he stammered as he pulled his phone, he checked on Tony's profile
"7.2million", Tony pointed
"Right", Kevin replied uninterested
"Its literally in front of you"
"Mhm"
"You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"
"Mhm"
"You're gay for Zayn Malik"
"Mhm"
Tony went for it, "you sucked guys off to pay for college but too ashamed to tell anyone"
"Mhm", Kevin replied
He tapped him, "dude, focus"
"Huh?", Kevin snapped back to reality
"We're talking about your being a bad friend..."
"Let's talk about that later man, check that chick out"
Tony glanced and looked at him, "know what? Fuck you"
"Huh?"
"She has tattoos on her chest, left thigh, back, 8 piercings total, use your imagination. I've tapped that. Goodluck buddy", he left.
Kevin looked back and forth, the girl who suddenly got unattractive and Tony who just left, "why you gotta do that, man?"
The thought of her being with Tony was a deal breaker...
"...there goes my erection"
_____King Alonso