Steemit Open Mic Week 83 - Original Parody Song "Bottle of Klein" with annotated lyrics.

This is a science parody of the classic folk song "Bottle of Wine" written by Tom Paxton, who is himself one of my favorite funny songwriters. My friend Elise Matthesen wrote the chorus (which is the best part) and I wrote the verses. She makes amazing jewelry, check it out.

_{I feel like I'm making progress on this recording thing. Also I hauled out a light to make the video better.}

Lyrics:

Bottle of Klein¹, fill it with wine, but is it inside or outside my
Bottle of Klein, look and you'll find, the whole universe is inside my

Start with a square, and fill it with air, by gluing two sides at a time²
It's a little bit tough, if you work hard enough you can make yourself a bottle of Klein.

How much dough can you lose, paying import dues, when they charge you a volume-based fine?³
Well instead of a fee, you can bring it for free when you put it in a bottle of Klein.

Ever broken a cork, worked it out with a fork, worried if you'll get it open in time?
Don't resort to an ax, just sit back and relax, it's not a problem with a bottle of Klein.⁴

Do you futilely try to make enough to get by without binding the mouths of the kine?⁵
Why not try something new, have your cake and eat it too, with a cow shaped like a bottle of Klein?⁶

1. A Klein bottle is a three-dimensional figure with only one surface. If you've played with a Möbius strip, it's basically like that, only with an extra dimension. Just as every side of the Möbius strip is the same side, every surface of the Klein bottle is the same surface. The inside and outside of the bottle are the same, making it a container with either no volume or infinite volume, depending on how you look at it.
2. You glue two opposite sides of the square together, and then you glue the other opposite sides of the square together. This is a brain-teaser, and it really isn't easy to do, but the Wikipedia page has a nice explanation.
3. "Officer, this bottle holds zero liters of alcohol, I swear."
4. By its nature, a Klein bottle is always open. So you'll never need a corkscrew, much less any of these implements.
5. "Bind not the mouths of the kine that tread the grain," Deuteronomy 25:4. Kine is an archaic word for cattle or oxen. The meaning of this saying is that when using livestock to turn millstones, if greed causes you to prevent them from eating any of the grain themselves, it will end up being counterproductive because they will not stay healthy enough to keep milling. This is often used as a metaphor for making sure employees are paid commensurate with their contribution.
6. Presumably a cow with no internal volume wouldn't have to eat at all, solving this problem. Also kind of a next-level spherical cow joke.
7. Goto 1