To My Two Boys,
You're only two and six years old, you both are still too young to understand what I am going to tell you in this letter, or let alone have the ability to read it. But, in the coming years, you will face many trials and tribulations.
So I have been thinking a lot lately about how I can prepare you both for those, by self-reflecting about what I have learned in life. I feel it is my duty as your dad to set the foundation for you so you yourself can someday manage the soon to be everyday life.
Like I said, you won't be able to read this just quite yet, but my hope is someday when you are ready, you will find prudence and purpose in what I have to share with you in this letter. My hope as I place this on the @steemit platform is that it will remain there forever as a reminder to the both of you, as well as your children, and their children - and anyone else who finds value in what I am about to share with you.
You both are still so young, and your life is full of mystery, excitement, and discovery. Your stage of life is a glorious time and I hope someday when you look back you appreciate these times you are now experiencing.
You have yet to experience life's disappointments, heartaches, despairs or struggles. I would be doing you a great disservice as your dad if I wasn't honest about the fact that someday you will without a doubt experience every one of those at some point during your life. But be thankful, as there will also be many wonderful stages of life still to come, but those won't come without the costs mentioned above.
This letter is to help you along your journey, sharing with you what I have learned. From my own mistakes, from my own father, and from his father. As with any advice in life given to you freely, take it with caution, as what was best for me might not be the best for you down the road.
Life Isn't Fair
Unless you are always winning in life, life will no doubt feel unfair to you. The truth is life doesn't play with rules of fairness in mind.
In our own personal ideas of fairness, it is almost always in self-interest. It is the reason we need judges in courtrooms, referees in sports, and police officers for our communities. We as humans expect the world to comply with our own senses of right, wrong, and fairness.
But the reality is life has no particular interest or sympathy of our own interests. You worked hard but didn't get a raise. You love her with all your heart, but she ignores you. You studied hours upon hours for the exam but failed it.
All those seem unfair to you right? But in life fairness isn't about just "you." We as an individual are not the greatest authority on everything ever in this whole world we live in.
As I write this post now for steemit and you, there are authors who may earn thousands of dollars for their post, where I may only make a few cents, as an example. In life, this is fair based off of what others perceived value is, we are judged for what we do not what "we" think.
As soon as you are old enough to read and understand this my two boys, please accept the fact that fairness in life can not be achieved by your own individual thoughts, ideas, and self-interests, your life will be much more enjoyable understanding this.
Life Is Sometimes Unkind
Someday you will realize that tallness was not a gift bestowed upon you. Like myself, you may as a young man be teased for being vertically challenged. One of you may even inherit a nickname such as "shorty."
The truth is there will be people throughout your life who won't be kind to you. They may tease you for your lack of ability to dunk a basketball, or because you enjoy reading and writing rather than ride your bike around the neighborhood like your dad did.
It will be challenging I must admit son, but there is not much you can do about these kinds of bully's in life except learn to deal with them and dismiss them. Surround yourself with a circle of friends who will cherish you for what you are and what you have to offer. When you find those friends, hold onto them for life, those are the friends you want to surround yourself with for a lifetime.
Part of life's cruelty is learning to adapt to disappointments and failures. There will be many times you are met with one or both, life won't always be the way you imagine it to be. Don't let these things get you down, use them as learning experiences to propel and lift yourself up. Learn to preserve, fight on, pursue your dreams, turn negative to positive and learn from your mistakes. Doing these things will make life much better for you.
I am learning day by day myself my boys - in my writings on Steemit. For every failed writing I have placed on Steemit like this letter to you, I have made an asserted effort to learn from each of those and self-improve. For every negative comment, I have looked for a positive one to replace it within my mind.
The king of all cruelty must be heartbreak, abandonment, and loss. It is my desire that you won't experience many of these in life. The most I can say is you will need to accept them, learn from them and use them to make you stronger, you will need to find this within your own selves.
Be Open And Willing To Take Some Risks
Even though life isn't fair and cruel things in life will happen, don't allow yourself to close down because of those. Remain open to new things, experiences, and people to replace the cruel with good. You can't place a wall up in hopes it will protect you from life, that wall is invisible to others and only allows self-destruction within yourself.
Don't be afraid to take some risks in life regardless if someone teased you or if 5 girls blew you off for a date. The next person might not tease you and you could come away with one of those life long friends. That 6th girl just might be the one you have been looking for.
To succeed in life you will first need to fail and take some risks. But if you stop trying and taking risks you just may miss out on a life of success.
Success In Life Isn't Measured In Wealth
You shouldn't measure your life success in terms of wealth sons. Instead, measure it in health and happiness. You will always meet someone else in life who may do better in school than you, have a bigger house, drive a more expensive car or have the newest tech gadgets out there. To those people, success is measured in material things, which ends up being a never ending revolving door of having to get more stuff.
None of that "stuff" matters or will make you a happier person son. Instead be grateful for what you do have and spend your time and money on things you enjoy doing instead. Explore and find those things you love to do that make you happy and spend your resources there.
Find your passions, your obsessions and pursue them without settling for less. Overall, life is a short journey so don't waste your time on materials things that won't make you happy.
Live The Life of Love
I know "live the life of love" sounds cheesy and cliche, but cliches are cliches because they are true. When you are faced with negative obstacles, hate or injustices you have a choice. You can respond in a negative way or with love. Of course, your own ego gets in the way and it's naturally easy to jump on the side of negative. Choosing love will not necessarily take away the bad experience, but it is capable of enriching your life for the long haul.
Love your spouse, children, neighbor, parents, and all others, even those who wish to be your enemy. But mostly love yourself. Don't be hard on yourself even in the face of unfairness, cruelty or bullying. Instead think of yourself as the wonderful person you are, for what you are and who you are.
And finally, know that I truly love you, my two sons. This will always be, even beyond my living years as I will leave little reminders for you in letters such as this.
I realize this letter, this advice, and things are just too big for you both right now in your stage of life. But someday I hope you will take this wisdom and experience from me and find it useful in a later stage in your life.
But, for now, you are just starting out in life, so boys go enjoy chasing those imaginary thoughts running wildly through your minds.
This letter will be here for you when you are ready.
Love,
Your Dad
"I drink because I eat 🍴, and I eat because I drink 🍷."
Fat-Like-Buddha (James)
