The Search for Meaning and Importance... Does it Matter?

"What is the meaning of life?"

It's one of those questions people ask sometimes... and we tend to kind of laugh nervously and make awkward references to great philosophers, then perhaps reach for another beer.

But seriously...

What exactly IS importance? And what IS meaning?

The more I have considered this-- which has been quite a bit-- the more it becomes evident that discovering what feels important and meaningful is a very individual thing. It's also a very relative thing.

My mother passed away, some eight years ago.

At the time, she was living in the south of Spain where I spent my teenage years, and I was living in western Washington state, in the US of A. Although she was in her 80's and not in the best of health, there was really no feasible way for me to keep any kind of eye on her as I was simply too far away... and at the back of my mind, I knew that I would simply get a phone call someday, that she had passed.

Indeed, that is precisely what happened... fortunately, my half-brother had been vacationing nearby, at the time she passed away after a very short stay in a local hospital.

"Acute Liver Failure."

Not a huge surprise, given a life of heavy drinking.

A Morning of Reflection at the Park

She was cremated and all arrangements "over there" were made very quickly... less than 24 hours from time of death. There was no way for me to go, on such short notice... besides, I didn't have $2000 for a plane ticket.

My half-brother texted me and let me know when they were going to scatter her ashes... "on the mountainside where she'd always liked the view."

When the time came-- ten in the morning, by my US local time, 7pm in Spain-- I went to a local park with a view of the sea; different and yet similar to where I imagined they'd be.

The time came... and passed.

I realized that my mother had passed. And that I would never see her again. This woman-- who had given me life-- had left this plane of existence. Mostly... I just felt very quiet.

Then I looked around me... there were children, playing on the swings nearby. A young couple were making out on a bench. Across the street a FedEx driver was making his morning deliveries. In the next house down, they must be having plumbing issues... the plumber was digging a trench in the yard. Out on the water, the ferry sailed for Whidbey Island... 

MY MOTHER JUST DIED! 

And yet, life around me just continued as if nothing had happened; people going about their business as usual unaware that somewhere across the ocean, an 87-year old woman had drawn her last breath. Someone's mother, someone's sister, someone's cousin, someone's wife, someone's friend. 

There was no "moment of silence;" no "prayers said;" just the pervasive hum of commerce...

At that moment, it really hit me how none of us are important, and none of this is important... and yet ALL of us and ALL of this is immensely important... and all at the same time.

And it also made me realize that the quest for meaning and importance so many people pursue-- trying to get to the meaning of life-- isn't something we can find "out there," it's something we have inside us... and it's already there. We just have to wake up to ourselves and give ourselves permission to see it.

And it's important... because if we just pretend there's nothing there we'll end up bottling up a whole lot of feelings... and becoming a bit like a powder keg, ready to blow. My mother had just died, and that was important to me... even if to nobody else.

How about YOU? Do you ever ponder the search for meaning and importance? Do you recognize how things can be the most important thing in your life-- EVER-- and yet nobody seems to notice? Have you ever stopped to think about how few people will actually be aware, when you pass away? And how you can look at a crowded scene and know that almost every since one will be gone, 100 years from now... and none of the people in the NEW crowded scene will even know? Leave a comment-- share your experiences and feedback-- join the conversation!

Note: This post is part of @merej99's "Community Engagement Challenge." For more information, please read the original announcement!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170710 16:08 PDT