"Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."
-- Ben Franklin, letter to André Morellet in 1779
While never condoning abuse to the point of intoxication, the Bible gives us at least four valid uses for wine:
- For Dinner - Bread and wine were a common staple.
- For "Medicinal Purposes" - Paul told Timothy to "take a little wine" for his ailing stomach. (This is undoubtedly where Granny Clampett found the justification for tipping her jug of "corn squeezins".)
- For Social Celebrations - Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding where the guests had already consumed the entire available supply.
- For Remembrance - Jesus said to use it "as often as you drink it" to proclaim his sacrificial death.
I may have found a fifth! (No pun intended).
I call it the "Half Carafe Test" It tells you whether you are going to Heaven or not.
Pew Warmer: "Hey, wait a minute! You don't need any kind of test like that. All believers already know they are going to Heaven! It's in the fine print of our contract somewhere."
Dead Ringer: "That's true. But how do you know you're a believer?"
Pew Warmer: "That's easy. I stood up in front of a bunch of people and declared that I believed in Jesus. Piece of cake!"
Dead Ringer: What does it mean "to believe"?
Pew Warmer: "Aw c'mon! You're starting to sound like Bill Clinton quibbling about what the meaning of the word "is" is.
Dead Ringer: "Well, here's what James 2:19 says:"
You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!
Pew Warmer: Ouch! OK, then, what kind of "believing" counts?
Dead Ringer: "Pick your favorite presidential candidate. What do you mean when you say you believe in him? That you believe he exists? That you believe the stories people tell about him? Or does it mean you strongly support his goals and objectives and trust him to faithfully execute the office if elected?"
Pew Warmer: "Well, I suppose it means I believe in what he stands for and want him to succeed. If I really, really believed in him, I might even quit my day job to help campaign... or sweep up after his rallies even. I might even have a hard time thinking or talking about anything else. People would probably stop inviting me to their parties just to get me to shut up about it."
Dead Ringer: "Exactly! That's where the Half Carafe test comes in!"
The Half Carafe Test
In that narrow zone between your occasional second glass of wine and the third one you avoid, lies the point where you may find out where your heart truly lies. In that relaxed, slightly uninhibited state, where do your thoughts turn? Do they turn to earthly things? Or do you find your mind soaring to spiritual ideas? When sharing a bottle of wine with a friend, how often does a discussion of Biblical topics come up? Do you wax enthusiastic about your faith? Would you rather talk about that than sports or politics?
If so, relax. You're a true believer! :o)