One of the hardest pills to swallow metaphorically speaking for anarchists is the fact that the process of deprograming ourselves never stops. Unlike what many people would have you believe (referring to high powered psychadelics here) there's no magic potion that'll flip a switch in your head and turn off things like anxiety, depression or any other mental illness.

This is something that has become clear to me in the psychadelic experiences I've had recently. I keep getting a resounding and strong "don't treat this as the solution, because it's not". I personally like to use those things as a catalyst to blast me into a different mindstate. Something to break whatever undesirable cycle I have myself stuck in.

It's scary facing inner demons. It's even worse facing them repeatedly. Every day even still I am reminded that I still hold tendancies of the people I've left behind (for good reason) and while it's frustrating I'm finally starting to see it's worth the effort.

When you've got little to no self confidence it can seem like an impossible task. Its easy to convince yourself you are broken or that something is wrong with you. Every time I convince myself of this I make progress in some way I didn't think was possible and prove myself wrong.