The sonnet is one of the most difficult poetic forms to write. I can't say that I've written very many good ones (of course, I don't write very many sonnets, because my name isn't William). Nevertheless, name notwithstanding, I'm not the optimal sonneteer.

Of course, I have written sonnets, and if I say so myself, this sonnet here is pretty doggone good.

Long before it was written, however, I had tried my hand at writing other sonnets and not done so well. But there was one sonnet where I just wanted to have some fun. So I committed myself to the form--all 14 lines of it--and put my pen to work.

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The Three Major Sonnet Forms

Before I share this poem with you, I think you should know there are different types of sonnets. You probably know that already, but have you really explored the differences? They are quite important if you truly want to understand the sonnet form.

In general, there are three types of sonnets:

English sonnets
Italian sonnets
Spenserian sonnets

For the English and Italian forms, I prefer the nomenclature using the most famous practitioner. In the case of the English sonnet, that would be Shakespeare. In the case of Italian, Petrarch. So I'll use the names Shakespearean and Petrarchan sonnet from here on out.

Shakespearean Sonnet

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Most people are most familiar with the Shakespearean sonnet, so named because it was made popular by the Bard of Stratford-on-Avon. Its rhyme scheme is very recognizable. It consists of three quatrains (4-line stanzas) with the pattern abab cdcd efef and followed by a couplet with its own rhyme -- gg. The poet sets up the poem's theme or poses a problem in the first three quatrains and then solves the problem or resolves the theme in the final couplet.

To illustrate, here's Shakespeare's Sonnet 18:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Spenserian Sonnet

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The Spenserian sonnet is also named after its most prolific practitioner and its inventor, the English poet Edmund Spenser. It is very similar to the Shakespearean sonnet in that it also is formed with three quatrains and a final couplet. However, the rhyme scheme is different. In a Spenserian sonnet, the lines follow this pattern: abab bcbc cdcd ee

In the Spenserian sonnet, the structure isn't as contrived as the Shakespearean, and the interweaving of the rhymes throughout the poem give the poet more freedom to explore the theme without necessarily setting up the resolution for the final couplet. The poet can be more free to explore the theme and surprise the reader.

Example of a Spenserian sonnet:

One day I wrote her name upon the strand,
But came the waves and washed it away:
Again I wrote it with a second hand,
But came the tide, and made my pains his prey.

Vain man, said she, that dost in vain assay
A mortal thing so to immortalize!
For I myself shall like to this decay,
And eek my name be wiped out likewise.

Not so (quoth I), let baser things devise
To die in dust, but you shall live by fame:
My verse your virtues rare shall eternize,
And in the heavens write your glorious name;

Where, whenas death shall all the world subdue,
Our love shall live, and later life renew.

Petrarchan Sonnet

You'll notice the Petrarchan sonnet is quite different than both of the English variations in that it consists of just two stanzas--an octave (8 lines) and a sestet (6 lines). The octave follows the rhyming pattern abba abba and ends with what is called a volta. The octave's purpose is to set up an argument, or present a thesis. The volta is the "turning point" of the poem, or the climax if you will. It's the pause between the octave and the sestet that allows the poet to transition into the answer to the argument.

Often, there is a thesis-antithesis structure where the poet presents an argument in the octave then presents the counterargument in the sestet. There are, of course different variations, but that's the general idea. The sestet can have one of two different rhyme schemes: cdecde or cdcdcd.

Example of a Petrarchan Sonnet

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While for the Shakespearean and Spenserian sonnets I used a sonnet from each form's namesake, for the Petrarchan sonnet, I'm going to use a poem that you may be familiar with from a poet you may have heard of by the name of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The poem is "How Do I Love Thee?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

What Type of Sonnet is 'Breakfast Talk'?

It's important to note that, while the three types of sonnets mentioned above all have different rhyme schemes, they do have one thing in common. The meter is the same.

The meter is the rhythm of the poem. The sonnet form relies on what is called iambic pentameter, which is a line consisting of 10 syllables, or five "feet" where each foot consists of two syllables, an unstressed followed by a stressed. So each line is read ta-DA ta-DA ta-DA ta-DA ta-DA.

There are, of course, variations. Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote in what he called a sprung rhythm, which altered the meter of his sonnets. Other poets through the ages have had their own styles, or they took one of the major sonnet forms and modified it to add their own fingerprint. Such is allowed, of course, and one can get away with such licensure if you craft a great poem.

I'm not going to claim that "Breakfast Talk" is a great poem, but you'll recognize it as following the Petrarchan form. I did, however, take license with the rhyme scheme of the octave. There are also some variations in the metrical line, so chalk that up to licensure, as well. The point here isn't to enter into some hall of fame. Rather, the point is to ...

Well, I think you'll get the point. Let's just get straight to the poem. Blame me if there are any left overs.

Breakfast Talk

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O, Biscuit! Need you complain?
Can’t you be like the egg, complacent to remain
Where placed – he knew his fate
Before mealtime, to sit quiet upon the plate;
Do not speak your mind, even to Butter,
Just be docile and nay not utter
One word lest I stab you with my fork.
If you wish, you may flirt with the pork –

But no biting! You wretched bread.
I’ll slap you silly and off with your head!
Or drag you through Gravy, make you a sled.
No, no, don’t mention it . . . you’re such a flake.
You’re fit for nothing but to bake –
Just close your trap for goodness sake.