As we came out of the lake her naked body was glistening in the sunlight and I knew that I just had to have her. But then she approached the mailman that was walking up the road, in an attempt to make me jealous. She began shaking her tail at him in some mating ritual that absolutely infuriated me. I knew I had to act fast, so I quickly approached her from behind. I reached across her breast and I bit the back of her neck to prove that she was mine and to prevent her from getting away.
“Damn the rules!” I thought to myself as I began to take her from behind, with the frightened mailman watching in horror. As our bodies met I felt a great rushing sensation and in the height of ecstasy I went to whisper how much I loved her in her ear. But all that came out of my beak was a strange quacking noise. So I shook my feathers and waddled off, hoping next time I would be born a man.