I've got something to say
But it's locked away
in that dark space of the mind
You know, where you find
Those feelings that intertwine
with the spine
So that when you touch on them it hurts.
I don't mention them often
Because when I start talking
It seems like something's missin
So I listen
to what I'm saying
And when the words don't match the emotions
I get the notion
To just bite my tongue
And no matter how much it stung
That's what I've always done
But those feelings are starting to overrun
That place that hurts too much to touch
Because it hurts to not touch too
So I caress that mental bruise
To sooth
the pain
And words start to rain
Down on my tongue and out of my mouth
But word vomit is all that spews out
And that doesn't cut it either
I need to take a breather
But the inhale collides with the exhale
And I damn near suffocate in a fit of hyperventilation
But the emulation
Of these feelings needs to proceed
Because I've got something to say
and the only way
Is thru this jungle of language
To break through to the anguish
I've kept hidden for so long
I try to speak but it comes out wrong
Because my mouth betrays me
I call on my heart to save me
But it doesn't know the words,
it just knows the feelings
So I'm left reeling
In the pain
as words run around in my brain
So fast, that they seem impossible to grasp
They run marathons just to collapse...
Unfulfilled
That is until spilled
By the ink of this pen
And then I begin
To capture the words that were lost and then
I write them down
To give shape to the sound
That my heart makes when it's crying
I'm dying
trying
To hide from these feelings I'm feeling
I grab the pen and start drilling
Deep into that space
And poetic words race
Out of the tip of the pen
From deep within
And gather together to form po-ems
Because these words are so vast
That I've gotta confine em in rhyme
To break them down into sensible lines
It's a literary family
These poems are children
Born thru a marriage to hardship
And struggle and happiness and love
Cuz, it's not always bad
So when my poems
Carry a sad tone
then let it be known
That that's just how it hit me that day
It's the way that I say
What I need to say
When what I need to say
Slips through the cracks of ordinary language
I cast out my poetic net
And harvest species of verbiage that you haven't heard yet
Words that bleed tears of songs unsung
And chewed-up tongues,Inhaled lungs
just waiting for a scream that never comes
It's conceived in my chest
Only to be killed in my throat
And aborted as a whisper
If this person that I am
Cannot vocally stand
Without the crutch of this pen
Then, let it begin
Because one way or another...
I will be heard
This written poetry gives birth to spoken word.
So let not my speech be slurred
Or vision blurred,
because I want to make it clear
This voice you hear
Does not rely on vocal chords
For manifestation
I speak though cardiological vibrations
Because these are heart words
Not art words
And I bleed them to kill that evil silence
It chokes me with its passive violence
But I refuse to be smothered out like a flame.
I write this not to achieve fame,
but peace
Because these inner emotions are like caged beasts
They're scratching and clawing to be released
And this ink is the key...
So I plunge a pen in my vein to set it free
And bleed it out for the world to see
I've got...Something...To say
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