@steeminator3000, we love you buddy. This was all in good fun.
Where It Started
In the Turkish foothills lies the small town of Ayran. It is a quaint, hospitable town where everyone knows each others names, and all the goats are friends. In this town you will find a small, pebble stoned driveway. The home belongs to Mr. & Mrs. Dolma, a young, sweet couple who run a small kebab shop in the center of town. The Dolmas have a little boy, they named him Burke. You see Mr. Dolma was a big fan of American television, and his favorite actress was Delta Burke - so since naming the boy Delta was not an option, they went with Burke. Burke was a cute kid, little did anyone know, he would be a Turkish legend when it was all said, and done...
Baby Burke sometime before his path down self destruction, which was followed by a path of resurrection.
The Rise
Fast forward some 15 years, and young Burke was fed up with his life in the small town of Ayran. He wanted to travel the world, do various illegal drugs, and bang a bunch of bitches. But Mrs. Dolma was not a proponent of such things, and forbade him from taking part. Mr. Dolma was not as strict with his son, after all, his son wanted to have the same fun that his father did growing up. However, there was one issue with Burke's dreams that Mr. Dolma did not support. Mr. Dolma was strongly opposed to his young son leaving Turkey. He wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, and be the kebab king of Ayran. But Burke wanted no part in the family business.
One night, after a particularly tough day at the kebab shop, Burke was so angry, he told his parents, either you support my dreams, or I walk out. And then Burke made the biggest mistake of his adolescent life, he told his father, he hated kebabs. An eerie silence spread across the young couples home. Mrs. Dolma was inconsolable, and Mr. Dolma was raging with anger. Talking in such a manner to your parents was not something Mr. Dolma was going to tolerate, so he banished young Burke from Ayran. Told him, that he was never welcomed back home again. Mrs. Dolma, packed her only son a bag of his favorite undies, and a Tupperware container of kebab. She simply told her baby, please make sure and not to lose the Tupperware.
Disappointed, and angry Turkish parents.
The Rise Continues
Our story picks up in the island of Ibiza. Burke was now 25 years old and had experienced more life since he left Turkey, than most Turkish citizens do in a lifetime. Burke was working medial jobs here and there. He would do whatever it took to pay the bills, and keep up with the lifestyle he had grown accustomed to. Now this was no ordinary lifestyle. You see, Burke's passion for women, and drugs was greater than ever. Almost to an unhealthy point. Burke always said, "Almost, is the keyword..."
Burke was on a steady diet of blow, and ass for weeks on end. It had finally reached the point, where daily jobs were not cutting it. Burke had no choice but to find alternate means of income. One thing Burke had picked up along his journey thus far was the skill of No Limit Texas Holdem. While playing cards was not a foolproof way of making substantial money, at this point Burke really had no other choice. So, he decided to make a run as a professional poker player. Something that would hopefully earn him some money, and also fund his love for drugs, and whores.
Burke on his first casino ship. The Fish n Play
Fuck, We're Still On The Rise (goddamn dude, hurry up and fuck up your life, so we can move along)
Burke was now a full fledged professional poker player. He was traveling all the circuit games in and around Europe. It wasn't that he was good at poker, in fact if you judge his poker skill, he is pretty mediocre. Certainly not good enough to make any real money. But, Burke had a secret. An edge over everyone else, if you will. At this point in his life, Burke was doing an eight-ball of coke, about 1/2 ounce of weed, and about 3-4 psilocybin mushrooms - and all of this was usually before his morning coffee. By the time Burke would arrive at the poker table, he would be high of his rocker; didn't know what the fuck was going on. All he did know was he was playing poker, and he had to make sure it was profitable.
So how did he achieve this? He became an expert at NL deepstack tournament play. The key to winning deepstacks tourney was maintaining an unrelenting amount of patience. This is where young Burke excelled. Impatience is a human trait, and at the poker table, Burke was no human. He was a drugged out zombie, who would be awake, but day dreaming about drugs and whores. Occasionally coming to when he had a monster hand. It is with this strategy that Burke was able to build up a massive bank roll. And with this massive bankroll, Burke was going to do what all poker players dream of doing...play in the World Series of Poker.
Aww shit, it's on now...fucker is in Vegas, baby, Vegas!!!
Please join us next time where we pick up with young Burke playing in the World Series Of Poker Main Event. Till tomorrow, may your flops be donkeylicious. This has been a Lucksacks Poker 'Away From The Table" segment.
