Suffering through infertility is an emotional roller coaster, a ride you wouldn’t wish upon anyone. But it can also be a journey of self-discovery. As a young woman, I never once imagined that I would have a problem starting a family, no one else in my family had ever battled conceiving, in fact everyone was so super fertile that we often set the scandal for early teenage pregnancies and out of wedlock children! But not me.
My husband and I pretty much started trying for a baby as soon as we got married. After 6 months of trying with no luck we decided to get a Dr’s opinion. Little did we know this would be the first of many visits to the doc and his associates. Fast forward to 5 years later, we were still without child. We had tried everything, from hormonal stimulants, acupuncture to failed attempts of artificial insemination. The specialists were baffled, to this day they cannot tell why my husband and I cannot conceive a child, everything is in working order, or so it seems. Our diagnosis is not much of a diagnosis, we have UNEXPLAINED infertility.
While my husband was sad, I was distraught. Every day seemed like an obstacle and I dreaded social media which was loaded with pregnancy and birth announcements. My heart felt like a rock and I just couldn’t understand “why me”. I am such a simple person, I don’t have huge aspirations or ambitions, I simply wanted a family, to be a mom – was I asking for so much? But through all of this sadness my relationship with my husband strengthened, he was patient and kind, we were together. This was something positive and it was all in preparation for what was to come.
It was at this point that I felt I had to do something proactive, before I possibly lost myself completely. I started volunteering at a local home for abandoned babies. From the moment, I walked through their doors I knew that that was where I was meant to be. I spent most of my free time with the babies, after a while my husband and I were allowed to take a baby home with us for a weekend here and there. I loved this. I got to play “mom” and it soothed my soul. I got to do motherly things to a child who was desperate for a mother – we had an understanding.
Then it dawned upon us, why did it take us so long to realize that we were meant to adopt!? My husband said what I thought. Every step, every moment purposefully led us to this point, of this I am 100% sure, I can feel it in my bones. We weren’t concerned with how we grew our family, we just wanted to grow it!
We started the adoption process in 2015 and just a short 4 months after we decided to adopt, we were matched with a beautiful 4-month-old baby boy – yes, our child was born at the very same time we decided to start our family through adoption! I still get shivers when I think about how everything fell into place. Love at first site exists, the moment I laid eyes upon my son I was instantly in love with him. He came to us with purpose.
A child born to another calls me mom. The depth of that tragedy and the magnitude of that privilege are not lost on me. - JodyLanders
To this day I am so grateful that I didn’t let infertility get the better of me, while I often found myself in a pit of self-pity, I wasn’t going to let the pit cave in on me, nor was my husband. From this I discovered that we are the type of people that make things happen, and now I carry this thought with me whenever a challenge appears – WE MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
Adoption is a beautiful thing. While it comes with loss and tragedy, it also comes with a new start for all. For the birth parents (who I hope have grown in strength and in wisdom from their loss), for the adoptive parents, who simply wanted to start or grow their family (to love a child with all their hearts) and for the little soul who has a lifetime ahead of him to make a difference, with the correct guidance and understanding, a positive difference at that.
"This post was inspired by the Power of Positivity contest, initiated by @karenmckersie . You can find out more about the contest HERE."
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Much love - @sweetpea
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