Have you ever felt alone in the world?
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
- Proverbs 18:24
Living inside our own heads,
there are times when we feel as if no one else can possibly understand us. No one could ever "get" what we feel like.
Have you ever felt alone?
Photo courtesy of Paul Gilmore and http://unsplash.com
This is a common feeling.
The best antidote is finding your people.
Believe it or not, there are people out there who think more like you and who share more of your feelings than you may now believe possible.
You are not alone.
Photo courtesy of Greg Rakozy and http://unsplash.com
Everyone feels this way at times.
Trapped behind and looking out through our eyes, we feel isolated. We've all heard the snide remarks. We've all felt the whispers behind our backs. Each of us has, at times, been absolutely sure that no one else is quite like us, that we will never fit in.
Don't believe it.
Turn off that whisper in your head. Your people are out there. People who share your interests, who you can identify with and they with you. People who will "get" you.
Running With Your Tribe
Photo courtesy of Anoir Chafik and http://unsplash.com
But how do you find them?
There is no simple, magic formula. However, in the brave new world of the internet, it you have a better chance today than ever before to find your people. You can speed up the process by developing a few powerful habits to improve your odds.
Friendship Accommodates Differences
Photo courtesy of Krista Mangulsone and http://unsplash.com
1) Try new things.
Don't get stuck in a rut. Don't live life in a holding pattern.
Take inventory of the things you most enjoy. Make a list of your interests. Then get out there and actually develop and work on some hobbies.
Do you enjoy the ocean? Take up swimming. Get some lessons. Learn to surf.
Are you artistically inclined? Pick up a paint brush. Sign up for a wood carving class. See what it's like working with stained glass. Release the latent Picasso within. Write a poem. Pick up an instrument, make some music.
Do you like to make things? Attend a Maker Faire. Learn how to solder. Download and experiment with a design CAD program.
Go to trade shows. Talk to the friendly people in the booths. Find out what new technology is the latest thing driving growth in your industry. Attend standards meetings.
2) Read widely.
You like interesting people, right? Become one yourself. Don't limit your thoughts and study to your own narrow specialty.
Join a book club. Read outside of your comfort zone; you're bound to discover new and interesting viewpoints and ideas. Revel in them.
Learn a foreign language. You may be surprised to discover that English has shackled your brain into certain restrictive patterns. There are different ways to structure sentences, completely different verb tenses you've never encountered before. Reprogram your brain.
3) Don't be afraid to express your ideas and feelings.
As you learn and explore new things, don't be a wallflower. Mingle with the other people at the meetings.
Ask questions. Don't be afraid to express your own ideas and opinions. Sure, they may not always be welcomed with open arms, but unless you express yourself, no one will ever know who you are.
Take every opportunity to admire and interact with other people's work. If you like something you see, say so. Express your appreciation.
Don't be put off by differences. If someone doesn't agree with you, make an effort to understand why. You may never agree, but you can always learn something of value.
4) Give friendship.
Stop, look and listen. Become an observer of the people around you.
Ask more questions. Really listen to the answers. When others carry on conversations near you, tune in and learn everything you can about the participants.
If you sense that someone is struggling, see if you can find a way to help. Offering friendship, you will find friendship abundantly returned.
Facing the Future
Photo courtesy of Arthur Poulin and http://unsplash.com
5) Be persistent.
As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."- Galatians 6:9
All five of these practices are admirable and worthwhile. If you make them habits, and if you don't give up, you will succeed.
When you open yourself to others, others will become more open with you. As you learn to express who you really are, and as you become more vulnerable, something amazing will begin to happen:
Your people will discover you.
The people you've met at the clubs, discussion groups, maker spaces, congregations, and the meet-ups, will begin to see you for who you are. Your inner light and qualities will shine out, attracting your people to you.
You will begin to develop friendships and mutual support groups. The more you encourage others, the more encouragement will reflect back to you. You will find your people.
FIN
You are why I'm here on Steemit!
I have very eclectic interests and hope, over time, to write about them all.
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