I am very uncomfortable, it is the peak of my "hardship" for this waiting game for my dialysis so in a few hours I will going to take a bath as I always do before dialysis and it is not as easy as it sounds when you are filled with fluids and toxins. The bathroom was always had been like a work but it wasn't like that before because I enjoyed bathing but I am terrified about it because of my breathlessness issues.
I am just tired going back and forth to the place where I have to mingle with people that doesn't care about me. Imagine being shy and you have to perform on the stage, then a stage-fright will surely eat you. But I just suffer from anxiety too that is why I wanted to be left alone most of the time, keeping quiet and keeping things to myself. I hate confrontations and if I sense that you are just belittling me I would vanish away and never ever will come back.
So anxiety really never is cured as I have experienced it, maybe that is the reason that I had never had a girlfriend too. It is an uncontrollable state of mind that maybe needs medication. But I will never treat my anxiety, I have more important health issues to manage like this dialysis that is turning out to be mediocre once again because of my nurses.