"I could never afford that"...
"The likes of us could never get the money together to do that or to go there or to buy one of those"...
"That's not the sort of vacation we could ever have"...
"Oh I could never study for a profession like that, I'm too dumb, old, short, young"...
Do you ever hear yourself making statements like this?
The language we use can have immense psychological effects on the life we live or more importantly on the success we can achieve. That is big, right? The words don't have to be spoken out loud either, negative dis-empowering thoughts repeated overtime can have a profound effect on our success or lack thereof.
Our internal voice that guides us can dictate that which we are able to achieve, or not as the case may be! Any limitations that we experience in our day to day lives are self imposed. Occasionally we see some expensive trinket, vacation or gadget that we would love but sometimes we see them in the store window and exclaim...
"I could never afford one of those!"
Words and phrases like this can act like self fulfilling cement...Once it sets it can not be changed, modified or altered in any way shape or form, unless we are willing to put in a tonne of work.
I will explain how I came to this view and what prompted me to write this post which issues a very stark warning...
Today I was looking at holiday resorts and vacation destinations for my families first vacation in a few years. We do not have a lot of money and although some people in the world who have very little would view us as wealthy, compared to the people in our community and country we are most definitely not. So I started searching on YouTube (ugghhh!) for reviews of the hotels in our chosen destination, Lanzarote. After a while my family joined in, enthused at the prospect of our first holiday abroad in many years, as so often happens when watching videos, the sidebar grabs your eye and your attention and we noticed some luxury holiday videos...We watched one, then another, then another and suddenly we were watching a video of a room that cost $25'000 per night and I said...
"Why the hell are we watching a video about something we can never, ever do, we could never afford to go there?"
Then it hit me! That is a very destructive, self limiting, zero possibility statement!
- Can you relate to this?
- Do you see yourself as poor or broke?
- Is that likely how you will live your life?
- In the same area.
- In the same home.
- Going to the same places.
- Doing the same things.
- Hanging with the same crowd.
Hmmm...There may be a problem with this picture.
One of the 3 questions above was a trick question. Poor and broke are not the same, let me explain...On second thoughts let me use a quote I read many years ago and after reading it, something clicked in my mind...
Robert Kiyosaki the author of the hugely successful rich dad books puts it this way
"Broke is temporary, poor is eternal."
What I am suggesting as I'm sure you have realised by now is that poverty or being poor is a state of mind, if you accept it and think often that you cannot do something or achieve something because you are poor then you are sending a constant reinforcing message to your subconscious mind that stops it from working on a better life plan full of possibility and opportunity. Many of us are broke at many times in our lives, out of cash until the next payday arrives or as Jim Rohn calls it...
"Too much month at the end of the money."
This is OK and can actually be normal, sometimes it just means your income needs to catch up with your lifestyle. Maybe you made a purchase and you need to take a few days of pain till you get back into the black and outta the red...
But maybe it is an indication that you need to look at your life anew and maybe make some plans.
The problem with this is that if you constantly tell yourself that you cannot do something or that you are stupid, poor, too old etc, this becomes reality and any effort to change your situation will be disastrous. After all you told your subconscious (the computer constantly running in the background that takes in all data true or false as fact) that the task at hand was not possible. So guess what, you set the goal and your subconscious reviews the data and decides it is not possible and sabotages your attempts.
But all hope is not lost!
All you need to do is start listening to the little voice in your head (or the big mouth on the front of your head) and as it makes a statement such as...
"I can't do that!"
Immediately say out loud one of the most powerful 4 letter combinations ever...
"I can!"
But don't stop there, elaborate, build a case for your subconscious to truly believe this new information.
"I can do this and I will. If other people can be successful then I can too. I will learn the skills I need to achieve any goal or challenge that I decide to put my hands and mind too. I am a strong confident person and I deserve success. I understand that problems and obstacles may stand in my way, I will tackle them, overcome them and be rewarded with the success I have worked so hard for."
you can use the phrase I have used or word it in a way that is comfortable for you, but whatever you do make it sound, powerful, confident and speak like an achiever. Compare the phrase I have written to the weak, lily livered lack of belief in the following statement of intent.
"I probably can't do what I have planned but I will try anyway and God willing, if I'm lucky and really try it might just work."
Pah! That is pathetic isn't it. I am sure the infinite, bountiful universe is gonna do somersaults and roll over for you to achieve all of your dreams, goals and aspirations with that stunning declaration of intent, right?
Here's another quote that explains it far more succinctly than I ever could...
"Whether you think you can or you can't you're right." Those amazing words were first uttered by Henry Ford.
Now far be it for me to try and improve on a quote that was made around a hundred years ago, but I think a better word to use than think is believe. Belief is key. You must have complete and utter supreme belief in the goals you set for yourself because without that absolute belief you will probably fail. Trust me, no-one can ever believe in you like you can, and even if they do, you must be the one to really motor forward towards your dreams and aspirations.
What have you got to lose by trying?
Let's try a better quality question...
What have you got to lose by NOT trying?
What is really at stake here...A rich, fulfilling life of endless possibility. A life that sees you able to fashion a plan down to the tiniest detail, follow through and make everything that you and yours have ever dreamed of a new reality. Wow! how amazing does that sound? I will ask the question again...What have you got to lose by not trying?
Whatever you believe about how we came to be on this little blue/green orb that we call home it is my sincere belief that we were put here to be all that we can be. I often hear people describing this planet as hell and I understand why they say that, I occasionally see the news reports or accidentally glance at a newspaper too! But I choose not to believe that we live in hell. I take a far more balanced view...I choose to see random acts of kindness, people coming together to do wondrous things, great acts of charity, I don't pretend the bad is not happening, that would be naive but I see both sides of human nature. When I see the bad it reinforces my belief that I will be a better man and not add to the dark repository of our world. When I see wondrous human endeavor or stories of unassuming heroes I resolve to try and leave my imprint on the world. If we truly aspire to be all that we can be, there is no more noble aim to leave a lasting legacy for others to learn from, to benefit from.
What is the best way to define a legacy? I will leave it to the creator of my Daughter's favourite musical (Hamilton) Lin Manuel Miranda as I like the way he puts it most of all...
"What is a legacy? It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see"
A true and lasting legacy is any endeavor that is not solely for our benefit, something far bigger than our lifetime. It is something that outlives us and continues to enrich or nurture or aid in the betterment of others, long after we are gone. We live in an age of enormous financial divisions.
source
A few dollars to many is worth next to nothing while to some people from other, impoverished regions of the planet it could be the very difference between life or death. This makes it easier than ever before to create a global legacy to others and to the Earth as a whole. A legacy does not have to be quite so grand though, leaving money or even wisdom to your children, your Grandchildren or extended family is no less of a legacy.
Why have I taken a post about making more of your life and having greater ambitions for your future down the road of leaving the planet in a better state than you found it?
Simple! If we do not strive to be all that we are capable of we cannot ever dream of helping others. If we reach our goals we can have a truly amazing adventure touching the lives of others as we go. It is not essential to even want to impact the lives of others and for many people their own life is all that is important to them, there is nothing wrong with this...It is merely a matter of personal choice.
It is also absolutely fine to be happy with everything that you have right now and where you find yourself in life, after all the only standard that is important is the standard that we set for our own life. Living your life in a way that can impress others is a sure-fire recipe for disaster or at the very least unhappiness!
I just desire to be the master of my own destiny and fashion a life that is full of meaning that stretches me and has the potential to touch others who have less opportunity than I. I imagine this to give my life a sense of purpose, greater meaning and create a truly exhilarating adventure that I can feel happy and proud about as I look back on my deathbed.