In our society we are surrounded by different types of people, people who in some way influence positively or negatively in our lives, and sometimes the solutions that are taken are not feasible for both sides.

I am not a sociologist or a psychologist, so this publication is only my personal opinion about toxic people and how to deal with them, looking at everything from a more humanistic point of view, since one of the basic needs for human beings is to relate to others, everyone needs to communicate, attention and feel that they are not alone.

I am a person who focuses on the behavior of people, trying to find out what made them so, in the same way to watch a series or a movie, try to understand and have empathy for the other. People develop behaviors depending on their environment, and those who are often called toxic are often people who are unable to control their own chaos or their own problems, so they often involve others spreading their negativity. The key is to identify them, establish limits and not allow them to involve you in their emotional game.

On the other hand, I think that we all need a little positivism in our lives and if we have the opportunity to try to help some of these people to improve their behavior, we could do it and positively influence them.

Be positive

I will define some aspects that are attributed to a toxic behavior, so that those who read me can identify this type of person in their lives, in order to establish a feasible solution.

There are several factors that can identify a toxic person, but I will mention the most common and most dangerous ones.

1 - Manipulation

It is important to learn to identify a manipulative person, it is often difficult to identify because they are often our closest friends, they take advantage of knowing what you like or what you want for their own benefit.

They rely on your weak part to take something from you, speaking in the most general sense of things, this can be applied in several areas. They are capable of making you feel bad or guilty for not reacting positively to what they want you to do and looking to have everyone on their side. This consequently leads to a breakdown of your personality, when you fall into manipulation and you begin to act for what someone else says.

Manipulation

2 - Victimize

This type of behavior in a person begins by making people feel bad, perhaps it is not intentional but it does. People who are victimized all the time often drown in a glass of water, see everything as impossible, blame themselves and are unable to move forward.

These people make of any situation something tragic, it seems that they seek to suffer all the time and they do not realize that difficult times are opportunities to get ahead, learn, improve and grow.

Victimize

3 - Selfishness

Selfish people make you feel bad when you detect their true intentions, when you realize that nothing matters to them more than themselves and you feel alone. Some people simply can not establish a true connection with others, and that is why they are only interested in themselves.

Realizing that a close person is unable to feel empathy acts as a means to hurt, selfishness is one of the most painful behaviors when dealing with a loved one.

Selfishness

4 - Envy

Envious people are not always characterized by wishing with malice what someone else has or by having bad intentions towards the achievements of others, if not themselves as well. They are ungrateful with what they have and do not rejoice over their own achievements.

They live comparing themselves with other people permanently so they live under personal dissatisfaction. If another person lets themselves be infected by the envious behavior of someone else, they may question their own achievements.

Envy

5 - Pessimism or Dementor.

This last is the most influential and most dangerous behavior of a toxic person because pessimism is very easy to spread. They complain about absolutely everything, they only look at the negative and they prevent you from thinking about a solution.

In the same way, in which the positivism of a person can spread negativity too, that is why it is important to surround yourself with people who bring positivism to your life.

Negativism

The Harry Potter Dementors are inspired by this feeling of total negativity, presented in a more extreme way, they are creatures that steal people's souls and leave their bodies empty, leaving darkness wherever they go, In short, they are full of the most negative energy possible. J. K Rowling says that the concept of a dementor is based on negative people.

Dementor

Precisely because of this concept is that negative and pessimistic people are those that should be kept at a distance, are able to easily transmit their negative thoughts and even depression.

This is the best way to deal with toxic people, instead of getting away, all at some time we feel the need to want to help those who are going through a bad time, but how to do it?

First, it must be understood that not all people respond positively when trying to help, they do not strive or show any attitude of wanting to change or move forward.

- Maintain an emotional and physical distance.

- Do not let yourself be influenced negatively by someone else's comments even if the environment is on their side.

- Go to the communication in a respectful way.

- Do not fall into the game of a toxic person, avoid conversations that only have a negative purpose.

- Learn to control your emotions.

Source

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Finally, remember that what makes a person toxic is their education and values, the environment where they have grown, and even difficult situations. That's why I do not recommend removing all toxic people, if you have identified any and you have the opportunity to make a difference, do it, each person has a purpose and one of those should be to help grow and positively influence others.

I invite you not to give up without first trying!

Thanks for be here

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©2018 María Zerpa